Sõnad
by Zwerven
Summary: Denmark x Estonia. A tale spanning the ages, starting right off where Estonia was owned by Denmark and then as their roles slowly shift into lovers. M for some smut and bad words here and there, ohnoes.
1. Sõnad

...Yep. Er. Denmark and Estonia is blaringly historically canon, just about. Yet there's.. a severe lack of it. Historical liberties may or may not of been made. I tried. And, this is set back sometime in the 1300's, when Denmark owned Estonia. For a human name, well, although it's not that historically old I guess, Denmark's name is Nikolaj for the purpose of the story. The title, Sõnad, is just an Estonian song that helped inspire me. ;;

If there's anything you didn't get, there's footnotes at the end that shall probably clear things up. I will just state now however that 'Danmark' is Danish for Denmark, and not just a typo I kept making. |D; And on the other hand, 'Estland' is Danish for Estonia. AndEstonia'shomeisjustoneroom. :|

Warnings: ...Kinda a tiny bit of non-con, almost. And some blood. And a needle. ...Yep. Now onto the story. :|

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As the door to his small home opened, Eduard didn't even feel the need to turn around and look to see who the visitor was, already sure that it was Denmark. The sound of his heavy boots could be heard quite a distance from the house, especially with how quiet it became during evenings in Tallinn. The smallest flinch crossed the young boy's face as the door was slammed, even though that had been just as expected. From his seat at the table, he continued to instead stare down at his bread, not acknowledging his presence. Although it may of seemed rude, especially towards the man who had just conquered him, the Estonian was sure the other wasn't one much for such formalities anyways.

And no use letting him see the satisfaction of Eduard jumping up to greet him, to fawn over him... "Estonia?" The voice accompanied a small chuckle, and Eduard finally tilted his head up and to his side to look at Nikolaj. The only part of his expression that didn't appear dull and emotionless was the fear he couldn't erase from his eyes. "...Hej, Danmark." The young teenager greeted. No longer hungry for the bread in front of him, he pushed his chair out. Standing up and turning on his heels, he gestured back to the loaf of bread. "...Have you eaten? Would you like some?" He courteously offered; his voice flat and dead-pan. The smirking man in front of him seemed to be in good spirits.

Denmark in high spirits wasn't always the best thing... Usually, the other only came to visit under business pretenses or under a veil of anger in the true style of the Viking he was. Denying the offer with a shake of his head, the Dane continued to walk to the table. Eduard quickly grabbed the loaf of bread, watching as Nikolaj passed the table. Turning around, he stared with icy blue eyes at Eduard. Although now the Estonian was being stared down at, he tried to muster his strength to not tremble as he took the food and walked past him, yet Nikolaj's laugh derailed him. As soon as he turned his head back to look at the other blonde, the Dane was throwing an arm around his front, grasping at the shoulder opposite of the side he stood on.

Leaning back ever so slightly, he spoke directly into the pale ear scarcely covered with a few wisps of blonde hair. "I brought a present for you, Estland. Don't you want to know what it is?" Eduard only looked down at the arm now wrapped around him, feeling long fingers gently stroke the back of his neck as it sent shivers down his spine. With a shove, the smaller nation stumbled back. Worry and anxiety written on his face, he set the bread back down on the table. Finally, he took a good look at the taller man. His other hand seemed closed tight to his torso, a slightly noticeable extrusion visible through the coat.

"A..ah.. ...A gift?... ...T-thank you, Nikolaj, truly, but such a thing isn't..." The good mood all of a sudden seemed sucked away from Nikolaj, and Eduard silenced himself as he looked up. It was almost as if the room had suddenly gotten colder as Denmark stepped closer to him. With every careful step back Eduard would give, Nikolaj just stepped closer. "Just go sit on the bed."

Giving a curt nod, Eduard turned and quickly moved toward the bed that he was only a few paces from. Sitting down as he was instructed, he let his legs hang over the edge. Uneasily, he kept his head down, green eyes only curiously peeking up towards the invader. Opening his coat up, Eduard watched him pull a package from it. Wrapped in brown paper and string, he threw it at the Estonian's lap. It made him jump a bit as the soft package landed in his lap, and Eduard was displeased as Nikolaj only continued closer. Part of him just wanted to throw the package back and insist that the other leave. Yet disobeying never had gotten him that far before.... Eduard gripped it gently, trying to test to see if he could figure out what it was.

There was a soft feeling to it, and it caused the teenager to look back up at Denmark. Watching out of the corner of his eye as the other man too a seat next to him, he let out a soft sigh, fingers sliding into the string. Yet he did nothing still yet continue to shiver lightly as he felt a hand on his back. In almost teasing manner, he rubbed circles with his palm on Eduard's shoulder blade. The teen could feel every tiny movement through his thin shirt. "Open it." The hand crawled up a bit, causing the hair on the back of Eduard's neck stand up, unable to keep from trembling further.

With another glance to Nikolaj, the teenager still seemed unsure. It wasn't until he felt nails suddenly dig against his neck that he straightened his back up, jumping from the pain. "I said open it!" He commanded gruffly, his patience not reserved for what he considered to be such a lowly boy. A deep set grin suddenly adorned his face at the look of fright.

Eduard suspiciously untied the string, swiping it to the side. Hesitantly and carefully, he slid his hands in the brown paper. He could now feel fabric barely touching his fingers as he started to peel back the paper. As soon as Eduard pulled it open enough to see that familiar shade of red, he recoiled, the package with the folded flag inside nearly falling to the ground. It was only the blonde warrior beside him with quicker reflexes that saved it, a scowl now on his face instead. As he took the object from the boy, Nikolaj carefully opened it, a near perfect replica of the dannebrog in all its glory staring back at them. "...You're lucky. Let this fall to the ground and I swear it will be the last thing you do."

The Estonian was too petrified to reply. He only stared at Nikolaj, at the flag, with horror written on his face. It wasn't bad enough that the invading forces to his home now to carry shields with that symbol, but now Nikolaj had brought one into his home? The first time he had seen the flag... Eduard soon after wished it would be the last. Victory had seemed almost too sure, too perfect... Yet for some flag... This flag that it was told God himself was granting to the Danes... to be all they needed to defeat Eduard's forces? His face unnaturally pale, he continued to stare at Nikolaj with his mouth agape.

His reaction was priceless to Nikolaj. After all, the Dane had well expected it to be. As he fully inspected it, his scowl of anger turned back to an almost devilish grin. "Dannebrog. It's the dannebrog, Estland. Surely you remember it?" Yet the smaller teen was too horrified to react any further. Eduard after all knew what it was, and had always blamed it and God and anything else he could for his defeat. The defeat that had thrust him into the circumstances he was under now... The silence was broken by a deep chuckle. The Dane unwrapped the large flag to set around Eduard's torso, letting the vertical stripe of the Nordic cross fall against where his heart was. Lazily, he leaned in back to the teenager.

"Find someplace good for it, got it?" The authority in his voice rang out once more, and he tried to shake the other boy to get a reaction. With a small start, Eduard looked back up at his face, and it only brought a different sort of joy to the Dane to realize the tears that were brimming from those moss green eyes. "...Maybe over your bed." He suggested darkly, swooping in closer. As soon as Eduard put his head back down, Denmark rested his chin on his shoulder. The teenager smelled like the sea, and with his arms wrapped tightly around the thin body, he couldn't help but wonder what the other had done that day for some reason.

Pulling him up further onto the bed with him, the Dane casually laid back. He allowed Eduard to squirm until he pulled himself off of the larger man's lap, and as soon as Nikolaj let his own arms fall to the side, Eduard was at his side as well. Silently he watched the Dane prop himself up on his arm and look down at him, leading Eduard to bring an arm out from under the flag to wipe at his eyes. Although he was trying to wipe the tears away discreetly, he knew the other man had already noticed them. As he brought a hand back down he clutched at the flag, his cheeks starting to burn red with his desire to continue his tears over his failure.

"...W..what is that? Rose madder...?" The Estonian inquired of the dye used, staring down at the brilliant red of the flag. Lazily, Denmark nodded; swinging a leg over to Eduard's other side as he straddled him. With his breath catching in his throat, Eduard could feel how trapped he was. As Nikolaj lay down on top of him, the feeling of another human's weight on him, enveloping him, only was cause for further anguish.

"You have a good eye..." With his arm trapped awkwardly under Nikolaj, the blonde tried to pull it away. It was quickly enclosed with Denmark's larger hand as he took it instead. It was a compliment that was entirely meaningless, and Eduard didn't even respond. Nikolaj's hand felt calloused and rough, making it feel uncomfortable to have caressing Eduard's own. A battle axe was not the kindest mistress, something he could understand even when he wasn't much into combat himself.

As soon as he could feel lips press against his own, Eduard closed his eyes. It had been shameful to even be kissed once by this man, and the teenager realized that must have been weeks ago by now when that one kiss had occurred. To make matters worse it was impossible to imagine that those chapped lips tasting of liquor as they bruised against him were Tino's, having only had the pleasure once of tasting his friend. Yet he tried still, especially as the Dane was soon exploring his mouth with his tongue.

Eduard often suffered the ignominy of simply being noticed by Nikolaj whenever the man would come around. As busy as he was, he still found time to visit his wards, and, spare hand on Eduard's trousers, visit them _thoroughly. _ What good was having conquered so much and ruling over so many things if he couldn't get a taste-- more or less-- of their cultures and people? Yet in the green-eyed boy's mind, he was busy trying to think of another blonde. A gentler one who he shared so much with, even their bodies once, when they had gone into a forest during Midsummer's to...

As the Dane bit his bottom lip, tugging at it with his teeth, Eduard opened his eyes in surprise as he lost his train of thought. "Take my jacket off." He demanded; voice husky as he spoke against the soft lips of his subordinate. The hand he held he placed against his buttons, waiting for the younger nation to join it with his other hand. Lithe fingers soon were unbuttoning his jacket, leaving Nikolaj with a smile on his face. Eduard on the other hand was less than pleased. Even as his hands worked the cold buttons off, exposing the other's chest, he was able to keep his eyes closed.

In his mind, he could see the sea. Beautiful and infinite, it took him away at the least from here. He knew the Dane was likely to only continue, and soon, much like his land had been, his body would be invaded once more... Yet already it seemed to him as if their visit had gone too long. The hand on his trousers seemed more concerned with comfort then lust, and the other hand brushed against the side of his face.

Quickly burying his hand in the Estonian's hair, he grabbed his bangs and tilted his head back. With Eduard finishing the job assigned to him, his hands only rested listlessly against his shoulders. Opening his eyes at the stinging pain, Eduard looked down to see the top of the mess of blonde hair. Nikolaj was kissing his chin, down to its underside, nudging him and letting his eyelashes flutter briskly against the pale skin. The daydreaming teen beneath him was nearly unmoving, yet Nikolaj could feel his pulse on his neck. Warm and inviting, he let his teeth scrape against it.

"I'm staying the night." He finally spoke again, and could feel this declaration had made Eduard uncomfortable. Yes, usually the visits lasted rarely longer then an hour. Nikolaj had often informed him that his home was terrible, something Eduard always had to bite his tongue to inform him he had lived better before it had been burned down by his soldiers. Terrible, and thus not ever a place he wanted to stay long. "W-... Why?" Was all Eduard could manage to say, tilting his head to look down.

Backing away a bit, he sat up. Shrugging off his jacket the older man cast it to the ground, before motioning with a finger for Eduard to come closer again. As he was being hovered over, Eduard scooted out from under him for the most part, catching the flag and holding it before it could fall to his lap. "It's too late to travel back to Copenhagen." Swallowing his breath, Eduard nodded in fervor. "I... I understand."

Perhaps if he didn't know Tino better, or if he knew less of Nikolaj's nature, he would have ushered and insisted the other spend the night in Helsinki. It was quite a manageable distance away, but sadly instead, Eduard did know these things. Nikolaj slowly peeled the flag from his hands, setting it to the side as he let himself then run his hands across the smooth fabric of Eduard's shirt. As he was removed of his shirt, he trembled over the hands brushing against his skin. Yet he did nothing but allow it, not even idly wondering if there was anything he _could_ do.

Again, the other's lips were soon on him, lavishing him with attention he didn't desire. While the stronger set of hands rested against his hips, Eduard moaned as the thumbs rubbed circles into his skin. His body only that of a teenager, it was very programmed into him to want to be touched and fondled in these ways, even though his mind did wish it was coming from a gentler man. Eduard carefully wrapped his arms around his shoulders, hands cradling the other man's head against his chest as the hands moved down and the kisses turned to small bites.

"When will the snow start here?" Eduard gave the question quiet contemplation, stroking his fingers through the Dane's dirty blonde hair. "Not... not for quite a while." He murmured, the casual conversation the only thing keeping him rooted to reality. At a particularly sharp bite, the Baltic gasped, curling his fingers. "So it's still raining...?" Nikolaj nestled against his stomach, his own digits busily unfastening Eduard's trousers.

The breathing on his abdomen tickled almost, and amidst a small cough, the teenager nodded. "Here and there, it is..." He replied, wishing the Dane would stop taking his time. The sooner he finished, perhaps the sooner he would fall asleep, and let the Estonian to try and convince himself this nightmare didn't happen. Swiftly, Nikolaj relinquished him of his lower garments, leaving his body cold and exposed. Gripping Eduard's hips, he pulled him underneath him again, once again straddling the boy. As he moved to sit up, the Estonian's pale limbs let go of him, resting over his stomach. He resisted the urge to cover himself up as he sat awkwardly underneath the other.

Nikolaj gripped the bottom of his own shirt and pulled it up. His body was firm with muscle in all the right places, something that the Estonian's soft body paled in comparison to. Jagged scars were spread randomly across his torso, badges from so much hand to hand combat in war. There were even a few fresh bruises littering his body, and... Eduard shyly brought a hand up to his stomach. As he heard the other man's shirt fall to the ground, he gently grazed his fingers around the wound on his stomach. Blood was splattered around his skin still and he couldn't help but flinch at the touches, no matter how miniscule they were.

"Nik—" As soon as he started to say the human name, the other's grunt staved him off. "...Danmark... When did this happen?" The slice was long and red, causing a gouge in his otherwise taut skin. At the least, it looked as if it should have been sewn up. Denmark looked uneasy at the subject however, and grabbed Eduard's hands, pulling them instead down to his bottoms. "Don't ask. Just keep going."

Compassion filled him, even though it was against his better judgment. It was something that had rubbed off from Finland onto him, the moral of having concern. Even though as Nikolaj looked down at him with impatient eyes, and Eduard knew full well what was on his mind, he still couldn't help himself. The idle conversation, the abrupt mood changes, letting himself silently bleed without showing the tiniest hint of pain... Even the 'gift', which Eduard initially believed to only be for inciting mental trauma upon him, was such an unordinary thing that...

"...Danmark, tell me what's wrong..." Managing his voice to be steady and calm unlike his hands that were shaking like leaves caught in gale winds, by looking up it was obvious he had ruffled the Scandinavian ruler's feathers. Able to scoot back out from under him, Nikolaj let go of Eduard's hands. It seemed to be shame that compelled him as he brought a hand up to his face, looking away and not noticing as the Estonian slid his pants back up. Through the silence, the Estonian spoke again instead. "...You didn't have anyone look at this, did you?" As he studied the wound he found the circumstances increasingly stranger.

Surely, although the wound was probably caused by the rifts Eduard heard had been happening with Sweden, if Nikolaj had visited Norway or Finland or anyone else, they would have tended to him... So that just led him to believe, either he just hadn't visited, or...

"...There's no one else." His normally proud voice came out distant, a little desolate even. "They all... they all want to follow _him_ instead, they..." Watching as the Dane went silent in his grief, Eduard shuffled off of the bed. Although a Viking in spirit as well, he never did understand any of this quarreling or fighting over land. The only one who had shown unbridled kindness to him had been Tino, whereas everyone else around them seemed caught up in the fighting.

Quickly procuring a needle, cloth, and some thread, he came back to Nikolaj just as the other was seating himself more suitably on the bed, looking over at the flag that still lay there. He was a bit at a loss over what to say about Denmark's desertion, knowing that if given the chance he'd run off as well. The regime of living under the Dane wasn't a particularly kind or forgiving one, yet as he sat down on the floor between his legs and set his equipment up... Well, for the moment at least, he had pity on the other man. "...Have they... ..Left?" Eduard asked softly. Nikolaj shook his head, watching the teenager below him as he wiped at the blood.

"No... But... ...They..." His paranoid suspicions were something that he found uneasy to voice. Gently, he stroked the Estonian's bare shoulders, fingers occasionally clutching to him in an effort for comfort when the cloth moved too close to the wound. "...It just seems... like one day I'm going to wake up and they won't be there..." Eduard uneasily glanced up at Nikolaj. He was expressing himself with an almost poignant anxiety; one Eduard still was unsure why he was sharing.

Even though new blood began to bubble from the wound, Eduard folded the cloth up. Making sure that the blood was tucked inside, he sighed softly as he handed it up to Nikolaj. "They're... ...I'm... ...I'm sure they... ..won't just..." He struggled to find comforting words, When Nikolaj took his hand roughly, and it seemed as if his heart skipped beats when it was kissed.

"Sure.. Just look at what Berwald does. Guy loves me, I'm telling you..." As he gestured to the wound he let out a childish chuckle, trying to offset the mood with humor. Eduard nodded, finding his face begin to flush red. "...I'm certain..." Waiting until Nikolaj grabbed the cloth; he pulled his hand away quickly. Shyness began to overcome him as he grabbed the needle and thread.

"...The cloth, you should......this may hurt, you may want to bite down on it..." Eduard's words came out as if they were an apology already, and yet Nikolaj cast the cloth to the side. "Don't you have any faith in me, Estland?" Hearing the cockiness in his voice, the teen glanced away. "...Well... alright..."

His hands gripped again at Eduard's shoulders instead, watching as the teenager's forehead was nearly pressed against his chest as he worked. The initial feeling of the needle entering his skin was the worst, and he dug his nails into the pale bare skin. Eduard tried to keep his hands unmoved from being grabbed. The Dane breathed in and tried to hold his breath, sucking air in from his teeth as Eduard began to sew him up. Eyes and teeth both clenched tightly closed, he tried to slowly adjust. Feeling Eduard's light blonde hair barely brush against his skin made him open his eyes again, tilting his head back down to watch as the younger man intensely worked.

"There." Eduard finally declared after what seemed like an uncomfortably long time to the Dane. While the Estonian quickly brushed the hands off of him and busied himself setting the needle back to where it belonged, Nikolaj was looking down at the wound. The sutures weren't that well done, they could have been pulled tighter, and he wondered if the other had any experience in the first place. Even with the work a bit shoddy it would still serve the purpose however, and the Scandinavian gave a grin as Eduard returned with another cloth and sat between his legs again. Dabbing up the blood from the wound and the blood he had caused, his fingers still worked ever so delicately.

A chill ran down Nikolaj's spine. Only now could he sense the intimacy in the nature of how close the other was as he tended to him... And couldn't figure out why he was. After all, he'd done innumerable unkind, sometimes just plain cruel things to the blonde. "I'm done." The simple statement pulled Denmark away from his thinking, He watched as the Estonian tilted his head up, and Nikolaj scooted to the absolute edge of the bed frame. Firmly, he took hold of the other's soft face, holding his cheeks as he leaned down towards him.

Eduard let out a soft whimper. The blue eyes were emotionless, at least, not one that he could read, and the uncertainty frightened him a bit. Even as the signature grin tugged on his lips, Eduard just silently let his hand fall onto his knee, looking away. Once nudged, he couldn't help but to look back up however. The moment his lips parted, about to ask what was going on, they were instead met with Nikolaj's lips crushing against them. Tender and chaste, even though the sensation would have now been easy enough to pretend it was someone else the Baltic didn't bother.

He instead found himself pushing up into the kiss as well, eyes becoming half-lidded. It wasn't the gentlest kiss, but one that that drew sparks between them. Eduard trembled, unsure what to do with his hands, only balling them up into fists against his lap. Just as the Dane had nearly made him melt in his hands, he pulled away, hands firmly planted on his face still. "...Your eyes." Nikolaj finally spoke up. Eduard opened them all the way, blinking in confusion. "...They're so... ...green."

Beginning to crack a small smile, it erupted into a small fit of laughter, and Nikolaj found himself joining in. Resting his forehead against the smaller boy's, finally he felt hands on him as well, gently caressing down his neck. "Green? Yes! I know they are!" Playfully, the Dane squeezed his face softly, nodding. "...Ah, that...I meant..." He began to shift off of the bed, and the Estonian pulled away a bit, welcoming the other to join him on the floor.

Wrapping both arms around the small waist again, he pulled Eduard against his torso, giving a shrug. "Well, you know, I'm too cool to be wrong..." The gaffe had made the previously frightened boy much more comfortable. So the king—his owner, his essential master, had a human side, just like him. Even he was capable of messing up, no matter how he tried to play it off. "...Yes. I can tell." Eduard teased, looking down in between their bare torsos. Taking gentle care to not press against the lesion, he otherwise fit snugly in his arms.

"...They're a nice green." The comment made Eduard's face turn as red as a flower again, and he rested his head down against the other's collar to try and hide it. "...Thank you?" The teen murmured in his arms, and while grinning, Nikolaj kissed the side of his head. "Yeah... ...and about the... Er..."

"...You're welcome." Eduard replied swiftly, leaving Nikolaj to only nod. "It should hold hopefully, but..." Just as soon as he was about to get off into explaining his lack of experience, a finger covered his lips. "As long as my guts aren't spilling out..."The mental image his words provoked made the Estonian flinch a bit. Even though it was a joke, Eduard found it in poor taste, seeing as he'd been on battle grounds before where he saw that same sort of fate befall men before. Eduard didn't even know if such injury could happen to their kind, being living and breathing personifications of their land, but wondered what would occur if it could.

Would they die? _Could_ they even? And if they did... Nikolaj could sense the tense mood in the air. Eduard was too wrapped in thought for his own good, and gently the Dane leaned over to place him down on the floor. With a start, the teen looked back up at him, biting down on his lip. Blinking curiously, the Dane just nestled back against his neck, taking a deep breath. "...What is it?" He inquired, nudging his nose against the younger one's ear. Eduard shook his head.

"..How human do you think we are?" At the serious question, Nikolaj's eyes widened. Lifting his head, he looked down at the other male's face. Never had he pondered it before. Being immortal, or seemingly so, was a strange enough feat in itself... "Don't know." He replied in his regular chipper voice. Once again taking a hold on one of the smaller hands, he let dead silence overcome the room for a few moments.

"Well... ...we laugh... cry... smile... sleep.. dream.. hurt.. bleed... We do everything they do..." Raking the Estonian's hand down his own chest, he gave a nonchalant smile. "We touch, we feel..." Underneath him, he could feel the shuddering breaths as Eduard took them in. Placing their lips back together as Eduard contemplated his words; the Estonian found it nice for once as the Dane's hands traveled around. "I'd say..." Nikolaj murmured as he pulled their lips apart, a small noise signifying their depart. "...As human as we want to be...?"

The reply, despite being spoken with such uncertainty, ignited a flame in Eduard's chest. Nikolaj was taken by surprise as Eduard jerked his hand away, both around wrapping tightly around his chest instead. He pulled the Dane close, kissing him with fervor as he let his eyes close. The reaction wasn't a displeasing one, and the Scandinavian gleefully kissed back. Now mutually caught in a deep kiss, it was enough to make Eduard moan into the kiss when he began to rub at his hips.

When they parted for air, Nikolaj's hands were trying to pull away the Baltic's bottoms once more. When Eduard's eyes flew back open he let one hand reach down and grab Nikolaj's wrist. "Wait." The word alone only made him less patient, and he stared at Eduard, wordlessly conveying that the smaller boy better of had a damn good reason to insist that. "Will... Will you show me, then? Not... ...Not force me... but... ..._teach_ me..." The words seemed more carefully chosen then they were, and the Dane quickly nodded in response. Although he still seemed nervous, Eduard pulled his hand back away, letting his fingers rest along the side of the Dane's hip.

Intruding on the Estonian's mouth again, he kept pulling him into reassuring kisses. Exposing his thin, pale legs, he felt compelled for some reason to caress him, pressing against Eduard. Yet he wasn't that much slower then usual as he moved on to preparing him, despite the hisses and gasps. Shaking and tensing up, he clutched tightly to the Dane. It wasn't long until his nails dug into him, feeling his legs being spread apart and grasped.

Nikolaj pressed their arousals together, keeping his lips attached to Eduard's with more ferocity now. It wasn't long before he was instead pushing inside him, throwing everything else to the wind. The hands dug deeply into his skin felt like they would almost crush him, yet initially, Eduard didn't feel much more comfortable himself. With a whine and a strangled whimper, he pushed his body up, arching his back off the floor as he tilted his head up.

Thrusting with excitement, while he was pulled away from the younger man's lips, he delighted instead with nipping and licking at his neck. There was more passion unveiling in either of them then any other previous time they had spent together, as if they were determined to feel more. As Eduard's cries grew louder and he lifted his head again, he stole a kiss from the Dane. He felt as if he was being split in half, trying desperately to stay together with the act of melding their lips together again.

Even as the moans continued to spill into his mouth, Nikolaj soon lost track of what noises belonged to whom. Every nerve in his body felt like it was burning, shivering with joy and pleasure as he pushed again and again into the Estonian. He could feel a set of those long, skilled fingers grasping against his hair, causing Nikolaj to wince slightly. As Eduard let himself fall against the floor, he wrapped his legs around Nikolaj's, pushing the other man's head down so their oral bond wouldn't separate.

Sweat began to form on the Dane's body. It easily became an irritation on his injury, along with other, smaller cuts his body had. Yet he continued, unwilling to stop for such a thing, having gone through much worse before. This... and this was far better a reward. After a few minutes, he could feel his body tense up, and pulling out of the kiss he furrowed his brow. Panting and grunting, he pressed his forehead to the other man's lithe shoulder as the Estonian cradled his head there.

With a gasp, the Scandinavian nation finally released himself into the blonde, the cause for Eduard's louder moans. Continuing to stimulate the man beneath him as well, it wasn't long after that the small blonde held his breath, expelling his own seed between their stomachs. His legs felt weak from the experience as he unwrapped them from around Nikolaj, and the Dane waited until Eduard released his arms as well before taking to resting beside him. Nikolaj turned on his back, brushing a hand through his already mussed up hair.

Both of them panting wordlessly beside each other, Eduard finally mustered up the strength after a few minutes to glance over at him. The gash had a small amount of blood beginning to pool at the sutures again, and the teenager reached around for the cloth before turning on his side. As he nestled in between Nikolaj's body and arm, dotting gently at the cut, he rested the side of his face down against his chest. With a wince, Nikolaj wrapped an arm around the Baltic's shoulders, letting out a long sigh while the other started to clean up the rest of the mess.

"So, was that human enough for you?" Nikolaj's playful nature once again showed through, leaving the Estonian with no real answer left but to nod against his chest. "Eduard..." He tilted his head up at hearing his name spoken. Instead, Nikolaj only gave a soft chuckle, icy blue eyes glancing down at him with a grin planted on his face. Resting his arms over Nikolaj's chest, he finally understood the silence. It was simply the name alone the other man had meant to say. The names alone pulled them closer to human roots.

"...Nikolaj." The Estonian returned the sentiment, for once not being scolded and struck until he referred to him as Danmark. That alone was enough to let him smile peacefully, and he just listened carefully to the other man's breathing. It felt warm and almost familiar to have another's arms around him, and the feeling was mirrored in the Dane that held him. Lying silently intertwined with each other, Nikolaj was the first to drift off to sleep. Eduard soon followed, drifting off to seamless dreams.

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The legend of the Dannebrog states that it fell from the heavens in the middle of a battle against Estonia's capital, now known as Tallinn, given to the Danes by God himself to help rally up the troops and lead them to victory.

Rose madder is a type of dye made out of madder. Used to dye the color red for army uniforms and historically the Dannebrog.

And yes. If you squint, there is hints of Estonia/Finland or Finland/Estonia, whichever, around there. heh. :D

Copenhagen is the capital of Denmark. Helsinki is the capital of Finland.

It kinda at the end there turned into an existential crisis thing, but well, can't help but think all the nations have thought about such things sometime or another. And, well, it helped move the plot along, so...

There may... or may not... be more chapters to this. If there is, the basic idea would be only three more chapters... So that... That's all for now, though. Yep.


	2. Saying So Little

More chapters there shall be, yes. Although the original intended idea was just three more chapters, I decided the length I was going for was too... Length-y, so, there'll be more then that, just split up more.

For some reason, there's nothing to explain here! :O It's odd for me to do stuff without having to explain it all, haha, but no worries, there'll be tons of history jammed into the next chapters. This being the morning after, we're still obviously set in the time of being under Danish rule.

The next chapter shall be the same way, but then I'm going to skip the Teutonic Knight years, go into Estonia under Swedish rule, then after that, Russian rule all the way to modern times. So as you can tell, this is going to span the ages. |D Enjoy~ (Next chapter we'll get the other Nordics in here, don't worry. |D)

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It was the sunlight flooding the small house that made the Dane open his eyes. Groggily he sat up; a blanket that had somehow found it's way on him falling to his lap. From sleeping on the hard floor, Nikolaj's muscles felt stiff all over, accounting for his hesitation in turning around at the small noise he heard. The Estonian teenager was setting dishes down on the table, and when he glanced over, their eyes met. "...Did I wake you?" Eduard asked softly, walking over towards him as soon as he finished setting the table. Nikolaj pushed the blanket away, finding his clothes easily enough.

Pulling his bottoms on, the older man grabbed his shirt and stood up, stifling a yawn as he began to speak. "No. Not at all..." The Estonian came to stand in front of him, glancing away as the other man finished dressing. Nikolaj's gaze was drawn back to the set table, and Eduard noticed. "...I just... thought you may like a meal." The voice came out wavering and lacking confidence, and with a small shrug the Dane walked past his ward to the table. As he looked down at the modest meal of fish and bread the teenager had prepared, he broke into a small grin.

"Smells good." He simply offered, bringing a small, pleased smile to the other man's face. As Nikolaj sat down, Eduard was quick to join him. Sitting across from each other, they sat in relative silence. Eduard only picked at his food, his mind beginning to fill with questions again. Nikolaj on the other hand had dove right in, the Estonian cuisine being different then what he was used to, but still holding a familiar style.

Just outside, there were birds crying loudly. Nikolaj figured this must be usual for the morning times, because it didn't seem to stir the other man one bit. While he continued to devour his food, the blonde across from him was only trying to figure out what to say. If anything even needed said, Eduard didn't know. 'Thanks for reassuring humanity for me'? Or perhaps a throw to the pleasing note the evening left off on despite the reason for his appearance in the first place?

Eduard's eyes glanced over to his bed, pursing his lips as he could still see the flag resting on top. With the smallest of scoffs he instead returned his gaze, green eyes focused clearly on the Nordic nation now. The teen knew when it wouldn't be the best idea to bring things up, but he hadn't yet mastered the art of being able to just keep his mouth shut altogether. Soon enough, Nikolaj lifted his head, brow rising at the other man's stare.

He found himself not enjoying this gaze of Eduard's. Although he often looks like he's caught in quiet contemplation, there's something else to it, perhaps a tiny fragment of anger. In reality, it's only that Eduard doesn't know what to do anymore, what to even think. Before, he had tried to hard to even keep a tiny bit of his pride, he was only angered at himself. For the other to have burst in, been so rude, only to lull Eduard into pitying and trying to comfort him, so little of it made sense...

Wordlessly, the smaller man turned his head to the side, leaving his food mostly untouched still. He wanted to deny, yet he'd been witness to the Dane's flickering moment of vulnerability, the fact aided by the bruises left on his shoulders as the stronger man had clutched to him. As Nikolaj's hand dropped on the table, ceasing everything else, Eduard tilts his head back slightly. "...What?" The question coming out a bit harsh, it made the younger one jump a little.

Trembling and trying to calm his nerves that were only agitated by himself, Eduard shook his head. "...N-nothing. I was simply... ...wondering when your trip back to Copenhagen would take place..." Nikolaj's pause was drawn out. He hadn't thought about it, but now he seemed to be getting a different set of signals from Eduard.

"...Trying to push me out of the door or something?" With a hearty laugh, he returned to his food. Paying no mind even while the Estonian shook his head, he was filled with a sense of confidence. Even if the other man _did_ want him to leave, Nikolaj didn't have to listen at all to his words. Such was the beauty to the Scandinavian of ruling over people and places, that they had to listen to him, not the other way around.

"I just... ..You had mentioned it last night and..." Eduard sighed gently, a hand reaching up to rub at one of his eyes. "Who knows, Estland. Maybe I'll stay the entire week... or the entire month..." At the display of ego Nikolaj was giving, Eduard frowned in dislike. "Hey, if I wanted to, I could just stay forever..." Glancing up at Nikolaj, mind still wrapped up in the happenings of just mere hours ago, his face was full of confusion. When he turned his head to look to the spot where he had taken care of him, stitched him up, where Nikolaj had fallen to the floor with him...

When the Dane turned his body around to follow the Estonian's gaze, all he could see of the scene was the flag on the bed. With his worries and anxieties already brewing under the surface about the other nations surrounding him, to think that the one he should have had absolute control over just wanted him gone as well... "...I wanted you to know you're mine." He gave a soft laugh, finishing the plate of food. Brushing his hands off on his trousers, the Dane stood.

Eduard quickly rose as well, following the other man to the bed. If only, he thought to himself, that he could find a trace that the night had meant anything beyond lust and the sin of sharing their skin to Nikolaj, that he could forgive his demeanor... Yet it was hard to tell. Nikolaj stopped at the bed, looking down at the disheveled blankets and gave a small grin. Picking up the flag, he held half of it out to Eduard. Beginning to fold it, he made Eduard stand and assist, the space between them getting smaller as the flag did.

While he had only muttered a simple "I see", Eduard had told a lie. It was still a terrifying thing to touch the Dannebrog, to have it so near... For some reason to him, the object scared him now more then the man in front of him. When Nikolaj grabbed the fabric and finished the folding by hugging it to his torso before setting it down on the bed, Eduard couldn't stand to look him in the eyes again.

"...So then, your stay..." He inquired softly, bristling a bit when the older man stepped close to him. Nikolaj took a hold of his chin, grabbing it and turning it up. It didn't take much, their height difference were only mere inches, yet his goal of having those green eyes look up at him still wasn't accomplished by his actions. Nikolaj's other hand reached and grabbed at Eduard's arm, pulling him close enough that Eduard could feel his breath against his face.

"...I'll probably leave again today, yes." Nikolaj admitted. Tensing a bit himself as he found the Estonian's arms moving, hands soon resting against his chest, he was still bothered. "...You really should look at me when you speak to me." No reaction. "I am your king, after all." Jerking out of the hold of the Dane's hand, Nikolaj was almost fearful for a moment that the other would step back as well. Yet he only bowed his head, eyes flickering up to stare at the Dane once more.

"...Yet you hardly visit..." Eduard expressed in a collected voice, although the arms against the other man's broad chest now seemed to be being used to steady his body. "...In the past, when you have... It's hardly been cause for joy, either..."The truths to Eduard's words were something Nikolaj had trouble even thinking of a way to deny. "..Isn't it a bit rude though?" He tried to argue instead. Sure, he honestly could have just struck the smaller boy, using words just as much as his hands as a weapon to make Eduard listen, but...

Perhaps even if it was a previous time, another circumstance, he would have enjoyed that...Yet Nikolaj always had affection for the quieter ones. It was almost a small reward as Eduard started to speak again. "...It's... ...a bit. I'm sorry." The apology was unexpected. With no idea on how to respond, he only ruffled up Eduard's bangs. Nikolaj's enthusiastic grin was returning. "So are you saying you don't like my visits?" A small sigh left the Estonian's lips, leaving Eduard to wait for a response. The teen was flexing his thin fingers open and closed repeatedly against the Dane's shirt.

"I don't." Replying in earnest, he suppressed the desire to pull away. The taller man's expression fell, quickly looking less than pleased. Reaching up he grabbed at Eduard's wrists. Just before he had the chance to explain to the Baltic that he had absolutely no say in the matter and he'd have to just deal with it as he had been, Eduard spoke up yet again. "You usually only come when you're angry to yell... Your visits... they were insufferable before..." Nikolaj's cold blue eyes went wide, mouth hanging slightly agape. As his elder was speechless, the words kept flowing from Eduard. "...Every time you made me wish we never met... ...It was just... ..last night... ...Last night, was..." The direction of the conversation wasn't making the Dane want to open up anymore.

Of course it had been... different. The night had been almost exhilarating, nothing that what either of them could have imagined would take place. Standing in silence, the ruler slowly let go of Eduard's arms. With his own hands to his side, he didn't exactly feel like discussing the matter. Not everything in life needed to be talked about, he felt, more often then not you just had to go with the flow.

But Eduard subscribed to wanting to know the answers for everything. To know and comprehend the meanings between every action and to detach human elements from things just to study them closer. It was why now he was getting so lost, curious as to if the interaction even held a meaning. All he could understand was that he had experienced a taste of something that brought him joy, and that he found it to be something he desired more of.

Nikolaj first took a deep breath before opening his mouth to speak. "I know." He agreed, even without being certain what he was agreeing with. Regardless, it put the Estonian at ease. Visibly, he relaxed, giving a long sigh before leaning in. As the teen was resting his forehead to the Dane's chest he tilted his head down. Burying his lips against the soft pale hair, Nikolaj gave a small sigh of his own.

He let his hands wander up to the other boy's face, cupping his cheeks with a gentle caress. They stayed firmly in place even when Eduard began to pull away, turning to look up at Nikolaj's eyes. Leaning down, the taller man instead closed them, as he shared a kiss, just missing seeing Eduard close his own eyes seconds later. It was rare that Nikolaj even in the first place kissed without trying to assert his dominance with it, but they shared an equal stand in their actions instead.

This close they could breath each other in, a new familiarity in it the same way as there was in the taste of the kiss. Indulging in the mere fact that their senses were mingling, not finding a line to tell where one began or the other ended, they gave it a few moments more before separating. Staying close, Nikolaj opened his eyes as he felt Eduard's hands slid up towards his neck. The Estonian was looking at him expectantly, underlined almost painfully with want. Nikolaj in return only pecked his lips, pulling back quickly.

"...I should go ahead back now.. Thank you.. ..for the sutures, the meal... ..and.." His voice trailed off, unsure what else to say. His expression began to change as he realized how the Estonian was looking at him. Previously he would have just stalked off, not waiting for a response, yet then again before he wouldn't exactly have thanked him either.

"You're welcome." Eduard replied, barely moving his lips. It was then that he let go, waiting for Nikolaj to do the same. The longer the hands lingered on his face, the more he wanted them to just stay there. Leaning up, Eduard pressed their lips together once more, slightly harder then the previous small peck. "..So, if I wanted to get back... ...should go ahead and leave..." Placing a kiss down on the teen's forehead, the teen nodded. Finally pulling away entirely, Nikolaj turned and left, a strange feeling brewing in his chest.


	3. Promised Well

...Yeah. So this isn't the chapter with the other Nordics in it. I think by now if you've been reading these author notes, it's probably blaringly obvious from how I went to a 4 chapter to then a 8 chapter to then now in a perfect world 16 chapters, I have absolutely NO idea what I'm doing. Er. ...Well no, that's a lie, I do pretty much have this thing all mapped out. The reason for the chapter fluctuation is seeing how the first chapter was over 6000 words, then the second just over 2000, I think I've come to favor the chapters... not being as long as the first.

So, for sure now: Nordics in next chapter. Then we're off to visit one of Estonia's lovely sites that the Danes kept their eyes on. And then from there, we get to watch things all go downhill. ...Biggest hurdle now is I need to find out a name for Norway. Part of me just really wants to go with Alexander. (Oh, Eurovision.) Nah, though. I'll probably have my friend help me pick out something more Norwegian-y. ....All that beside, yep. Enjoy.

And for you two who have reviewed... Oh, my goodness. I can't even say how much it's meant to me. Honestly! Thank you so much. You're what drives me to write every day. ;u;

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By the time Nikolaj found his way back to Estonia, the entire snow season had passed. For him, he'd treated life as if absolutely nothing had happened. It wasn't as if he had promised to visit more often or anything, yet it still left a certain Estonian rather disappointed. Still, the older of the two did come back. And with the teenager not at home, he _did_ put effort in trying to find him. All of the teenager's people seemed rather skittish to talk to or even be around Nikolaj. He found it amusing when they trembled under his intimidating stare, trying to communicate in a language that was foreign and stranger to them then their own.

It was all too entertaining when he could surprise them, speaking fluent Estonian to ask about Eduard's whereabouts. No one still seemed to know, only knowing he had wandered off into the forest during the morning hours and hadn't returned yet.

The Scandinavian gave no interest at all to just waiting around Eduard's home for his return. Instead, he took off into the woods as well. Although they were unfamiliar to him, he treated them as f they were any other large span of trees. Hunting down a human was much easier then hunting down an animal, especially when they weren't particularly trying to stay hidden. The only thing that bothered him as he wandered around was the weather. Spend enough time outdoors and you could pick up on all of nature's little subtle hints.

Things often seemed calmer before it was to rain, much as they were now. Even the smell of the air was different. Rain during the spring season was of course expected no matter where you were, yet Nikolaj would sooner be damned then going to be stuck out in the rain looking for Eduard. He did have to admit though, as a pair of bright blue butterflies fluttered across his line of vision quickly, it was rather peaceful here in comparison to all the problems he was faced with back home.

Right before he was about to turn back for town, fearing the thought of reaching a point of no return, he finally spotted what was unmistakably the teenager. Near the base of a tree, kneeled down in front of it, Eduard didn't notice as Nikolaj crept up behind him. Kneeling down as well, he peeked over the blonde's shoulder. Eduard was carefully inspecting a mushroom fresh out of the ground, brushing his fingertips over the top of the fleshy cap. A basket already mostly filled was to just the side of him, and Nikolaj gave a grin. The way Eduard would get so immersed in to whatever he was doing... Well, it was irresistible to leave him alone. Nikolaj tried to hold his breath as he got up to the teenager's ear, speaking in to it while he suddenly grabbed his arms around his waist.

"They don't look nearly as tasty as you do." Panic quickly spread across Eduard's features. Stumbling, he lost his footing, and Nikolaj struggled to keep holding on as Eduard quickly twisted around on the ground. The voice had seemed unfamiliar after going so long without hearing it. Shaking and trembling, petrified still, Eduard had not expected to then face the grinning Dane who was obviously pleased with himself.

While trying to calm his racing heart beat, the Estonian threw the mushroom in the basket before then trying to pry off Nikolaj's hand. The Dane couldn't help but to let a laugh out, leaning down while Eduard struggled. "You're not happy to see me?" He teased, while Eduard's face still showed clear displeasure. Placing a small kiss on the smaller boy's lips before pulling away, Nikolaj stood up and brushed his shins off. Eduard rose to his feet soon afterwards, grabbing the basket as he stood.

"...Sure I am. You... ...You just have a way with entrances is all." Clearing his throat, he could still feel his heart racing from the fright. "Thank you. I try." While Nikolaj gave a short, mock bow, he could hear the other man's scoff. While lifting his head back up, he noticed how serious the shorter man appeared. "Lighten up!" He urged, only stepping closer. The nod he received caused Nikolaj to laugh once again at him.

"...Of course. Could I ask the reason for your visit though, Nikolaj?" To the soft, wavering voice, the Scandinavian gave a shrug. "...Hm. Well, no reason, really. Just wanted to drop by." Given a curt nod, Nikolaj continued. "..And you weren't at home. So I asked around and... Yeah. Found you here instead." He rubbed at his neck, the way the Baltic stood in silence making him feel a bit awkward. However, squinting a bit, he inspected the Estonian boy. The black jacket wrapped around his torso seemed a bit familiar, something of definite Danish craftsmanship.

A small smirk adorned Nikolaj's face instead. Months ago, he hadn't realized he forgot his jacket until it was far too late to return back to get it. Eduard's gaze fell as well when he realized the Dane had noticed, and then spoke up. "...My own ripped while I was out the other day... Wh-..while it's being repaired, I just..." Nikolaj shrugged it off, grin staying on his face. He found himself thinking it was almost endearing that the other was wearing it, whether his story was true or not. "Nice, isn't it? Has some of the best craftsmanship there is."

Reaching out, he grabbed the collar. Eduard tensed up, pulling the basket close to his chest as his heart began racing again. It was only after a minute or so of Nikolaj gently stroking the fabric near his neck that he became used to it, although the teenager bit down on his bottom lip. Nikolaj only found himself chuckling while watching the skittish boy relax.

"You can bring it back with you when you return..." Eduard offered, before the Dane only shrugged it off. Dropping his hand, he motioned his head back. "No. Already had another one made, anyways. You know, it's going to rain soon though... Are you sure that you want to be out here stuck in it?" The Estonian was suddenly paying more attention, tilting his head up to inspect the sky. "..Are you sure?" Eduard stayed in thought, put off by the fact of how few clouds were even in the sky. It didn't appear the correct weather for a storm, or even a light sprinkling of rain. But Nikolaj reassured his statement, nodding and turning around. Eduard paused again, turning his head to look at Nikolaj and then down at the food he had gathered, knowing there was still more around he could pick.

"...Come on, Eduard. I told you before -- I'm never wrong, remember?" Eduard gave a small mix between a scoff and a laugh, causing his companion to roll his eyes. The blonde behind him did start to walk however, and the Dane easily caught up with his pace. "If you're sure, then..." There was still much uneasiness in the voice, and Nikolaj had to wonder briefly why his ward wasn't more trusting. "Of course I am. And... ...well, you do know your way out of here, right?"

Giving a small laugh in response, Eduard only kept walking. Stopping dead in his tracks, the Dane felt his grin wavering. "...You do, right?" It was then that the green eyed teen looked back over his shoulder, giving his companion a smile. Still unsure as to what that was supposed to mean, Nikolaj then hurried to catch up with Eduard. Currently, the teenager looked happier then he had ever seen him. It was a nice change of pace for him, to have someone that was depending on him.

"Of course I do, Nikolaj. This is my home... I know ever tree, every stone..." Nikolaj exhaled loudly in relief. "We'll be back in no time, I promise." The Estonian spoke softly, nearly indistinctly. "...You had me going there, for a moment." Walking alongside in silence, they scarcely even made eye contact with each other.

It was just mere chance when their fingers gently brushed against each other's, a slight step off a straight course having made it happen. Neither retracted their hands however, hands lightly bumping together as they walked. It was Eduard who decided boldly to reach and hold on to two of Nikolaj's digits, grasping almost as an unsure child would have. The taller man quickly retracted his hand, making Eduard nearly jump with a start as he thought he perhaps did something wrong.

Turning to each other, they shared a glance, and Nikolaj instead grabbed Eduard's hand firmly. Glancing down, it was almost as if he was then daring Eduard to speak up against it. Instead, he only gave a small smile, and Nikolaj soon shared in on the smile as well. As thunder cracked in the far off distance, Nikolaj didn't even flinch. Eduard, however, suddenly jumped. Glancing back, the Dane could feel the Baltic still trembling from the jump. Trying to give Nikolaj a shaky smile in reassurance that he was okay, Eduard quickened his pace.

"...Guess you were right... ..Maybe we should... ...um.....hurry..."

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Despite that they had to resort to running through the woods, when the deluge of rain began they both ended up soaked. While Eduard was the last to enter his home, he swung the door closed behind him. Striding across the house, he set his basket down at the table, while the Scandinavian was busy trying to look around for anything to dry off with. He came to an absolute stop as soon as he noticed the Dannebrog, pinned to the wall beside Eduard's beg. It caught him by surprise, and he found himself staring at the glorious red flag with the bright white cross emblazoned on it.

In the months Nikolaj had been gone, it stirred something in Eduard. He wasn't sure why or how even, but he had found himself longing for the Dane to be around. Someone to talk to, to laugh with, to touch... Besides Tino, Eduard lived a fairly isolated life. "...You look shocked that I did what you told me to." Eduard remarked quietly, as he turned back and noticed the Dane's stare. When he returned back to the taller man, Nikolaj tore his gaze away from the flag and shook his head. "...No. Not at all."

Disregarding his shoes, he then swiftly began to unbutton his shirt to Eduard's astonishment. The younger teen backed off, a look of confusion on his face. "What..." He murmured. "Are you doing?" Nikolaj's face was unblinking as he continued to undress, unfazed entirely by the question as if he was doing something out of the ordinary. "Just want to get out of these wet clothes, you know?" Taking a deep breath, Eduard nodded, wringing his hands together in front of his lap.

"...I'll... ...get a fire started for your clothes to dry." Nikolaj peeled off his wet shirt, holding onto it until Eduard reached his hands out for it. Passing it on, he looked at Eduard, drops of water still running down the teen's face as they slid down his bangs. Reaching a hand over to him, he ruffled up his hair, noticing now that the moss green eyes seemed focused on his chest. The Dane let out his cocky nature once more, grinning widely. "See something you like, huh?" He asked, following a drop of water down Eduard's face. Stroking his cheek with his thumb, he just barely grazed against his lips until grabbing on to Eduard's chin.

This seemed to finally make the Estonian snap out of his haze. His eyes had been fixated on the wound that had been marred across Nikolaj's stomach. Now, only a long stretch of a dusky colored scar was there instead, having healed over fine. "...I was just glad to see that it healed." Nikolaj looked down, letting out a laugh. Although he was almost disappointed that the other wasn't looking at him for less innocent purposes, he went along with it. "Yeah. Had Norway take the stitches out not too long back. How about that fire, though?" Letting go of the smaller man's chin, he motioned over toward the fireplace.

Eduard walked away with a small nod, following Nikolaj's instructions. Kneeling down, he began to prepare the fire. It was more then comforting once the flames began. With both shirts and Eduard's jacket removed and laid out to dry, the rain still poured heavily outdoors. Joining the other man on the flood, it wasn't long before Nikolaj had Eduard's back nestled against his torso. Sitting comfortably between the Dane's legs, he closed his eyes as the Scandinavian pressed kisses to his shoulders, slowly wrapping arms around his waist. As outside, the spring rain nourished just blossoming plants, inside, something else was budding.

Eduard was nearly lulled to sleep by the soothing hold. Yet his curiosity was growing, and in a bid to keep himself awake he tilted his head down to look at Nikolaj. "..So why'd you wait so long to visit again?" To Nikolaj, it felt nice to hold someone against his body without wincing from injuries. While he could have gone without a conversation, he contemplated the question. Grinning against the pale flesh, he laid a soft bite against the skin. Feeling Eduard's flinch, the Dane then pulled back a bit.

"...No particular reason. I was just busy. Something different goes on every day..." Eduard's soft laugh made Nikolaj smile. He placed his chin back on his shoulder, giving him a soft nuzzle here and there. "So it's pretty busy in Copenhagen?" The nod the man behind him gave pulled Eduard into thought. It was never that exciting around his own home, and while it did allow the teen to spend his days as he pleased... Sometimes, he just wished for more to do. Staying put in one place could only do so much, and he wished for ways to expand his mind. The way the teenager furrowed his brow and pulled his lips in a thin line, it was obvious he was concentrating on something.

"...Hey. You could always come back with me, sometime, you know.." Nikolaj offered. His home was, after all, used to guests, whether they were just passing by or if they stayed for a while. And with Eduard and his own land's status of being a possession of Denmark, Nikolaj was sure that no one would find it out of the ordinary. As the ruler shifted his own attention to grazing his fingertips across Eduard's navel, the teen spoke up.

"I could? Well.. ...that sounds like it would be nice, one day..." A shiver ran down his back at the touches to his bare skin, and he was soon covered in goose bumps. When Nikolaj realized this he chuckled at the other's sensitivity, laying his hands back flat.

Yet Eduard began to pull out of his arms, looking back at him with a smile. "Are you staying for dinner?" The question was met with a nod. Nikolaj reluctantly let the Estonian go, setting his hands down to his sides and leaning back. "Yeah. I thought I'd stick around a few days." Although the Estonian found the idea a hindrance, there wasn't much he could say against it. "...Alright."

A few moments later, he stood. Although the lower half of his body was damp still, there were now other things to do. "I'll go ahead and start it now then." Nikolaj rose to his feet as well, to the other man's surprise. "Sounds good! Need some help or anything?" He asked, and the other man gave a small smile even imagining the blue eyed nation cooking. Yet the thought was an admirable one, and Eduard gave a warm laugh. "If you think you can."

Nikolaj raised an eyebrow, letting out a slight chuckle of his own. "...You don't think I can cook?" Upon giving a teasing shrug in return, the Baltic teen began to speak again. "I didn't say that... I just don't know, is all."

Now both smiling, Nikolaj wrapped an arm around Eduard's shoulder. Tugging him close, Eduard ducked his head slightly. His cheeks flushed, finding the Scandinavian's playful personality rubbing off on him a bit. "It'll be fine. I won't set anything on fire, I promise." Laughing and walking together, they took it one step at a time.

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Tiny bit of things I feel like explaining. (Shocking, isn't it! Oh, just waaaait for the next chapter. The end notes will probably be a page long themselves.)

I've read mushroom gathering is a very old-time kinda tradition in most European countries around Estonia, including Estonia itself. While I know and recognize the proper season is probably around Fall, well, mushrooms at least in my side of the world do grow in Spring too, so I thought it was posssssibly plausible. ..Yet it probably isn't. Eh, I just didn't want to spend an entire YEAR before they saw each other again. If I had thought more about it in the beginning, the first chapter probably would have been set during spring.

And, the Danish government and army really never did make many visits to Estonia. So, was just being historically accurate with that. Anyways, I'm hoping to get another chapter up in a few days again, so enjoy~


	4. Came Here

Yeah. So I managed to not name Norway Alexander. Instead, he gets the name of Eiliv, and Iceland gets the name of Hinrik. ..Oh and they're in this chapter. I have delivered on my promise. *fistpump*

To ktomson – Yeah. I didn't think that there were... That was just bad planning on my end. xD I'm glad that it made your day, hearing something like that is awesome :3

To Nukii – I'm trying to write at a consistent rate, so yeah xD I'm happy you like it!~ Hopefully all the research I've put into traditions shall come in handy so no worries~3!

Thank you both for your continued reviews and thanks to the rest of you for reading it still!

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From that one evening, it turned out nothing did ever get set on fire. They instead cooked, ate, then talked and even laughed the night away. It was so easy to enjoy someone's company when you began to think of them more as a friend then someone who ruled over you, owned you... And as long as it was out of the conversation, it was out of Eduard's mind as well. The visit was pleasant, overall. The Estonian would sleep in comfort alongside the other man, although it did seem odd to sleep beside someone else when you were both clothed.

Yet that was hardly a cause for concern, it was a welcome change of pace. The Scandinavian spent just under a week imposing himself in Eduard's home, learning a lot about the Baltic's way of life. Not only the cultural differences that separated them, but the teenager as a person as well. He liked order, satisfied in when everything stayed the same. And although he'd sometimes get annoyed or perhaps even upset, it was never a mood he stayed in long.

So when the Dane decided it was time for him to leave, it was a little unexpected that the other boy seemed upset. He had grabbed on to Nikolaj's hands, not particularly wanting to go back to his solitary life. When Eduard then let go, understanding there were still bigger things going on however, the only solace he had was in their parting kiss and when the Dane promised to visit again sometime soon.

It was the reason why the letter came to a shock to Eduard. The visit had been weeks ago, and sure, Nikolaj had kept his word and dropped in a few times... It was usually only as he passed through, sharing a meal and perhaps the night with the teen. The letter he had written for Eduard, he had passed to one of his most trusted soldiers however, making him swear the letter would get there. Grasping the piece of paper close to his chest, he read the words over and over again.

_Come to Copenhagen and visit me!_

The sentence stuck out between all the other pleasantries. Eduard had picked it out almost at the very start, and nervously glancing up towards the military man, he realized why he was still there. Folding the paper up carefully, the teenager tucked it into his jacket. "...He couldn't come get me himself?" His voice was quivering almost, nervous and unsure of any Dane besides Nikolaj himself. The stoic man stayed quiet, and Eduard quickly ducked from his doorframe to instead back into his house.

"...I'll just need a few minutes to pack, alright?" He assured the man, while his stomach started to do flips from his nerves. Up and leaving his home, he thought, would perhaps cause a problem... Except for the fact that everything, beyond being still ruled by someone else, things seemed relatively peaceful for the time being. Quickly and efficiently, the Estonian gathered things to take with him.

And with that, he was soon out the door, nervously following the Danish soldier through the town as he clutched his bag.

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_Copenhagen, Denmark_

Although Eduard had been less than pleased with the escort he had, he of course had to admit that having someone who knew the way was quite a help. Even as they approached the Dane's home, it seemed so much larger then last time he had been there. He had forgotten how well Nikolaj lived, and it was a bit daunting as he walked up towards the other's home.

Thankfully, however, when Eduard was only a few steps from the door, it opened. When he looked up, expecting to see the smiling or more aptly smirking face of Nikolaj, the teen was instead met by Eiliv. The more Northern Scandinavian blonde had a stoic face as always, with the air of mystery around him.

"...N-Norway..." Eduard stuttered out, and not far behind him, the teen could spot the white haired Hinrik. Iceland never did seem to stray far from Norway, that much even Eduard could tell. "U-uh, hello... I was told I should be over here..." He spoke timidly, lowering his head again. He wasn't exactly sure what to say, but something must have worked seeing as Norway opened the door wider for him.

Stepping to the side, Eiliv offered the other teenager entrance into the home. The green eyes were darting all over the place, although he tried to keep to himself. He gave a brisk nod to Iceland to acknowledge him, briefly wondering if Sweden and Finland were around as well. It now seemed almost as if Nikolaj had just invited everyone over.

"I was... wondering if Denmark was... perhaps around." The teenager turned and asked Eiliv softly, mildly wary of the other man. He had heard stories that could only be classified as horror when it came to him, although from Eiliv's dainty appearance it seemed impossible he could commit such atrocities. One could never be too careful, still. "...He should be in his room. He appeared to be unwell."

Even though Eiliv's voice was as soft and exquisite as he appeared, and he didn't quite seem fazed... Worry flashed over Eduard's face. Nikolaj, to him, seemed the type to never have an ill day overtake him. He murmured his thanks to Norway, although he paused once he realized the response hadn't really given him an answer since he didn't know his way about the Dane's home.

He isn't willing to ask Eiliv though, either. There is a tension in the room, and Eduard notices it rather suddenly. The steady, cold blue eyes of Hinrik are focused on him and maybe it's just his imagination but Eiliv begins to appear impatient. Bowing his head, muttering a gesture of thanks yet again, the teen draws his things closer to his chest and takes off to the staircase.

Everything about the house almost seems grand, and it's been a while since the blonde had been in such a well kept place. There's still a rustic and warm quality about it, even though the space seems too large and once in a hall way there seems too many doors to try. Paintings hang from the walls, and with the only light coming from a large window at the end of the hallway, nothing is that well illuminated. As the other Nordic pair come up behind him, he turned and acknowledged them weakly.

They only bristle past the Baltic country, their paces quick and confident. With Hinrik at his heels, Eiliv slips into a room ahead of him. Casting a quick glance back to Eduard, Iceland ducks in the room as well after his companion, and he shuts the door firmly behind him. As if he hadn't enough reasons already to feel out of place, he now feels stuck as well.

Deciding to try his luck, he just reaches for the nearest brass door knob and turns. Although it's only then that it occurs to the teenager if he had picked the right door, that intruding on the Dane wouldn't be the best way to show his gratitude for the invitation... There is some degree of luck on his side, when he peeks in, the room's empty. It's occupied only by a table and some chairs, but what's on the walls is what captures his attention.

Books. There are coves in the walls where books sit, and Eduard believes it firmly possible that there's more then he's ever seen before. When every single book is a hand-copied, hand-made piece of artwork, not only are they expensive but on the rare side. With a few blinks, he closes the door, although his heart feels like it's yearning to stay.

He continues down the halls, his pace rather slack. Tentatively he raps his knuckles against the doors, placing his head to them to try and listen for a response. It's after the first few that his mind wanders, trying to imagine if it's possible that Nikolaj may truly be ill, too ill to answer. At the next door he knocks a little louder.

"Yeah?"

The voice startles him a little after so many fruitless tries previously. There's a bit of relief as well, and Eduard has to struggle to find his voice. "I... Just arrived a few minutes ago... And was just looking for you..." There's a pause, and some rustling on the other side of the door. For a moment, the teen wonders if Nikolaj even recognized his voice, and he speaks up again to give identification to himself.

"Yeah, I know it's you. Just come on in." The door creaks as he opens it, and he peers in carefully. The room is large, a bit daunting, candles and lanterns all around to ward away the dimness. There's even an animal hide on the floor, in front of the rather large structure of the Dane's bed.

It's there that Nikolaj sits, even though there's even a chair in the room that a cape is draped over. Through his characteristic grin, he seems a bit weary still, and Eduard closes the door quickly behind him. "Got here pretty quick, huh? Enjoy the scenery?" He watched as the teenager only nodded, looking pale himself.

And noting the obvious nervousness, he urges the young boy to come sit beside him, motioning quickly with his hands. "Fell free to just set your stuff down." Nikolaj offers, watching as the Estonian sets his bag down at the foot of the bed, coming to his side as he's beckoned. "T..thanks. I was sort of... surprised at first, you know. To get the invitation and all..." After he sits beside Nikolaj, he lets out a soft sigh. The bed is warm and seems comfortable, inviting almost. Realization hits the teen however, and worry is suddenly switched back on.

"...You're not... that ill, are you?" Eduard keeps his shaking hands folded in his lap, resisting an urge to reach up and touch the other. There's almost complete blankness on Nikolaj's face for a moment, before he shakes it off. "My head was just bothering me a bit. Had a bit of rest and now I'm fine. And yeah... the invitation? I told you I'd let you come sometime... You know, I always keep my promises, Eduard."

Even without ever a reason to think otherwise in the first place, the Estonian smiles at the sentiment. It just seemed honest and noble, and he watched quietly as Nikolaj rose to his feet. He extends a hand down to the teenager, who takes it with an unsure hand of his own. "Well, I'm glad that nothing troubles you too immensely..." Nikolaj gave a nod, using the hold on the other's hand to pull him against his body, wrapping his other arm around his waist. Just for a brief moment he buries his face against the other's platinum hair as Eduard looks up at him. "...And you're positive that you're alright?"

Chuckling, he rests his chin against the Estonian's head before only pulling back away, nodding. "As fine as I could be." Shuffling around a bit, Eduard then looks back down, smiling still from the other man's antics. "Good. Good... Ah, and... ...are Norway and Iceland the only ones here...?" With a tinge of regret Nikolaj lets go of the other's hand.

"Yeah. Berwald's doing some work for me, Tino's tagging along... Eiliv and Hinrik kind of just stay here all the time, for the most part. The other two should be back in town before the week's out, though."

Disappointment. He can see it in Eduard's face now, the teen looking a bit crestfallen at the news of not being able to see his best friend around. Yet the Dane takes to doing what he does best again, grinning and patting his shoulder. "Eh. I have a feeling even when they come in, you'll be a bit busy anyways. Come on, I want to show you something." Catching the other blonde's attention once again, he pulls him through the room. They stride down the hallway together, down until they reach the same door that the teen had come across earlier.

"Just have a feeling this may end up your favorite room." The blue eyed man gave a childish grin, not knowing his companion already knew of the contents of the room. Eduard tries to keep a wide smile from appearing on his lips, trying to act innocent instead. "...Really? What is it?" The tone of his voice stays excited, and he indeed is to get inside again. Nikolaj can see how antsy Eduard seems to be getting, and it's with pleasure that he opens the door to expose the moderately sized library again.

Pulling Eduard in with him, he waves an arm, excited and proud to show off his things. "More books then you can read, probably." Speaking with cockiness, he feels Eduard pull out of his arms. The teen has a wide smile, eyes wide in amazement. Once at the wall, he carefully runs his fingers over the spines of some of the books. They're emblazoned with titles in Danish, and the mere feel the indentations give against his fingertips feels indescribable.

Soon the teenager is pulling one out, grazing his palm against the cover. Nikolaj stays leaning against the door, crossing his arms over his chest in a sense of smugness. Eduard flips through the pages, not reading, just skimming, even though at that pace all the foreign words seem like a garbled mess. As soon as he closes it, he returns it to its spot and pulls another one out, still delighted.

He can't even imagine how much time it must have taken for just one of these books to come into creation, much less all of them. And now guided in here and being told he can read them, well, he finds his legs immediately going off in the direction of a chair. It's only discontent once again when Eduard finds Nikolaj stopping him, Startled, he looks up, his smile beginning to fade.

"Getting kind of late to start all of that, you know?" Eduard finds himself torn, looking back to the book. "Tomorrow, the rest of the week, however long, you can read them all you want... It's been a long day though, you should wait." He takes the book from the other's hand, returning it back to its spot.

The Estonian stares at him as if he's a villain, and Nikolaj can't help that he has to take it away as soon as he's given it. While trusting that the other boy's conversant in the language, yet he felt in no way like having to entertain any questions Eduard would have about the books. "Come on, it's not that bad or anything..." He murmurs, and Eduard forces himself to nod.

"...I suppose that you're right..." Nikolaj chuckles and once he throws an arm around the other man's shoulders, it's a blessing almost that Hinrik comes into the room. Eduard effectively slides out of Nikolaj's hold, keeping his head bowed. The white haired Nordic looks between the two, unfazed almost entirely.

"...Dinner's about to be completed." He watches as Nikolaj grins, pleased, and their guest only nods nervously. "Alright. We'll be down in a minute or two." As Hinrik departs, the Dane takes this opportunity to again slide an arm around the other's shoulders, pulling him close. He speaks against his head, pressing a soft kiss to the top. "...There's nothing to be shy about, you know."

The statement however does nothing to ease the shyness, and the Estonian boy folds his hands over his lap. He keeps his head bowed and nods, smiling slightly at the feel of the other man kissing his ear again. As the green eyes flicker up to meet his, Nikolaj instead kisses the side of his forehead.

"...So what's for dinner?" The Baltic nation asks, leading Nikolaj to laugh.

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Um. Yay. There's not that much to explain in this part even either and this trip to Copenhagen will be in two parts. But yay! There. You get other Nordics now. Hopefully I can get another chapter up by Monday,

The only thing that warrants explaining I guess (until next part |D), is... books! Books were not that common at all before printing presses. Around this time period, laaaarge collections only held around 500 books. And, well, ...I just wanted to insert Eduard being a... nerd. That's why this trip will be 2 parts. Because the library thing was an unexpected little detour. So that's all for now!


	5. Loud Silence

...did I say the Copenhagen visit would be 2 parts? I obviously meant three... Sob. ;; I feel sort of bad, seeing as this would seem to be the shortest chapter... But if not for breaking it off here, it'd easily turn into over double the length. But hey! It's before Monday!~ C: Next chapter shall have the history, sigh. And, the missing Nordics~ However, due to circumstances beyond my control, I'm unsure exactly when I can get the chapter up... Fft. the wait may be over a week, but at least at that point I'll probably have much more then one chapter to upload!

Nukii – Thank you!~ :3 Much appreciated, as always :3

Ktomson – And thank you as well! Hope you find this interesting enough for now! Thank you also for your offer of knowledge, I'll keep it in mind!

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Eduard was used to much more modest meals, not the sort that he had just indulged in that seemed to leave dishes spread all across the rather large table. The northernmost Nordics it weren't that into conversation; the dynamics of the house pretty clear.

While Nikolaj would ramble on about seemingly nothing, boasting and telling old tales, the other two would near-silently observe. It was only when they were directly addressed would they entertain the Dane with a response. Although Nikolaj sat at the head of the table, and Eduard was beside him in the spot a guest normally would be seated, he had said next to nothing the entire meal.

It was a small surprise when Nikolaj offered him alcohol, and he declined. It was only after he declined did he notice that there was already a man next to him, taking his dish and setting down a glass of amber liquid in front of him. Eduard smiled wearily at the man, looking from the alcohol back to Nikolaj. "Come on. A glass will do you good." The host kept insisting, and as the Estonian looked across from him, Hinrik and Eiliv seemed quite comfortable in taking to sipping at their drinks.

When one was handed to Nikolaj, he immediately took hold of it, taking a deep swig. "That... Normally, I'd take you up on it, it's just... You were right, it's been a long day, and I was actually looking forward to retiring for the night..." The teen's smile was wavering, and as the Dane put his drink back down he looked at him with a grin. "I haven't even had them set your room up yet, though! Consider it a nightcap, then, to help you sleep while your room's prepared."

As Nikolaj then called for one of the servants, tugging on his elbow to get him to lean down, he informed the man to have Eduard's room prepared. Then setting him on his way, he turned back to the teenager, looking at him expectantly to try the beer that he had created himself. Only under the pressure of wanting to look more mature around the other two, he lifted the glass, taking a smell of it before looking over at Nikolaj.

The first taste was nearly bitter, and it made him cringe a bit. Yet he tried to drink it a bit faster, taking a small gulp before setting the cup back down. The alcohol felt like it was going to burn his throat, but he gave a small smile to Nikolaj. Still watching the teen with inpatient eyes, Nikolaj urged him. "So? How is it?"

"It... it's good." Eduard murmured, even though the taste of beer truly wasn't something he much enjoyed. Nikolaj looked overly pleased at the result, finally taking his own drink back to his hands and taking a drink before thrusting it out towards the other Nordics. "I _told_ you he'd like it! My beer's the best!" He shook his glass a little, trying to motion for a toast, a grin plastered on his face.

"He's only being polite." Eiliv cast his eyes towards the Estonian, who quickly looked away, instead burying his lips against his own glass again. Wetting his lips, he pretended to drink while watching the Dane. "Aww, come on, I told you he'd like it and he says he does! Can't you just admit you were wrong already?" He boasted, still waiting for one of the others to meet his glass with their own. With a disgruntled sigh, he tried urging the Icelandic boy. "Come on; don't leave your big brother like this!"

Although it brought on the teenager to roll his eyes, Hinrik gently brought his glass up to Nikolaj's, clinking them together before pulling his glass back. Nikolaj brought his down again before turning to Eduard, smiling and nodding. "Made it myself. Little... hobby I have." He was singing his own praises, pleased to show off his self-sufficiency in some area. When the Estonian gave him a small smile, he returned to his drink once more.

"It's good... You have a talent." Eduard offered, setting his glass back down on the table. Pushing his chair out, he rose to his feet, bowing his head slightly. "And it was a wonderful dinner as well, but I think I'm going to go wait for my room." Nikolaj gave a small nod, reaching over and grabbing Eduard's discarded glass. "Third door on the left when you go upstairs. I'll come say good night to you in a bit, alright?" With a flirtatious wink, he watched Eduard excuse himself.

Eiliv didn't even wait until their guest was out of earshot before speaking up. "I doubt he wants anything to do with you." The Norwegian murmured softly yet clearly, shaking his head at his friend's perceived foolishness. With a shrug, Nikolaj didn't let his attitude falter in the least. "What's that thing you always say, Nor? 'There are greater things at work that you can't always understand'? Yeah, well, think this may be one of them."

"...Don't be ridiculous." Although Eduard wanted to hang behind and continue to eavesdrop, as soon as he drudged his feet up the stairs, he found that the conversation faded entirely. The third door was slightly ajar, and he pushed against it to open it. It was a simple room, adequate for a guest, yet something about it bothered him. Closing the door hastily, he wandered over to the bed where his bag that he had brought sat on top of the red covers.

Just as he pulled out his dresser gown, the chair to the other side of his bed caught his eyes. A much fancier, delicate looking night garment was draped over it, and the Estonian frowned in distaste. Although it was probably just a kind gesture, he wrote it off entirely. Instead he dressed in his own, walking against the wooden floor to set the other gown against the back of the chair. As he situated his bag on the chair's seat, he turned to the bed and peeling back the covers, soon slid easily into it.

It was silent. He didn't enjoy it much at all. When he first imagined visiting the Dane's home, for some reason, Eduard had placed himself at nights sleeping alongside the other man as they did when Nikolaj visited his home. If he threw his arm out, he couldn't even reach the other side, and the space bothered him.

Hearing the boisterous laughter of the Dane downstairs gave him a small start, and Eduard tried to relax into the bed again. With a soft sigh, he closed his eyes and tried to drift off. The closeness of the Nordics puzzled him. It did more then just puzzle, gnawing at his mind with envy. There was no one really that he was that close to back home, he felt, or at least who would just sit around and spend their time with him. Not at such a consistent rate, anyways...

Even though he lived around Latvia, Livonia, Lithuania—told by others even that he should be kin to them—they barely even spoke or saw each other. He was closest to Tino, he realized, and it was a reason why he cherished the Dane's visits so much. With first Tino, and then Nikolaj, when he was around them it almost felt like being accepted...

And then there were Hinrik and Eiliv, who quickly drove a wedge into his way of thinking. Eduard knew, when he was alone to think like this, it wasn't always the best thing... Drawing his arms around his pillow, he pulled it to his chest, resting his head on top of it instead while hunched into it.

Just before the Estonian had a chance to drift off to sleep, the door opened. Groggily, he opened his eyes up with a small frown, lifting his head up to see in the doorframe. While he wasn't aware of how much time had passed, he figured it had to of been quite a while. Sitting up, he recognized the Dane as he sat on the side of his bed, grinning and turning to lean over him.

"I told you I'd come say goodnight..." He murmured, leaning in to place his alcohol-laden lips on the teenager. In high spirits still, he rested a hand on the opposite of Eduard's shoulder, grasping it softly. Eduard returned the kiss very briefly, before turning his head. The barrage of small kisses his neck was laced with was then unexpected, and he shivered a bit, trying to move away from the hand before it began to travel down his body.

Nikolaj kneels up on the bed, crawling onto it, trying to get the covers away from the Estonian's body. His face is flushed red still, the alcohol continuing to draw heat towards his skin, and it's this heat that Eduard tries to avoid. He returns to trying to claim Eduard's lips, sliding his tongue along the bottom one, suckling his lip gently and gazing at his eyes. As he bunches the fabric from the night gown up around the teenager's waist he can tell that it isn't the one he had picked for him and set up, yet his hands still greedily tug at the fabric.

He's rather surprised and a bit disappointed when he finds Eduard's hands trying to pull his away. The teenager pulls away from the kiss, as much as he wants to give in. He shakes his head and removes the Dane's hands, leaning in to just give him one soft kiss. "Good night, Nikolaj." Pulling back down his night clothes, he listens to Nikolaj's deep whine. "Eduard, just lighten' up a little.."

Eduard gets out of bed instead, walking over to where the Dane is nearly ready to fall back against the bed. With a small smile, he tugs at his hand, the other man slowly getting out of the bed. He grumbles and sighs again, making no haste to get out up. Nikolaj lets the younger man lead him back to the door, frowning the entire way. "Fine, fine..." He mumbles, pausing at the door and stopping Eduard from opening it. "You didn't like my goodnight kiss?"

The man's inebriated and there's not much use talking to him like this, Eduard knows. But he can't help but sigh, pressing his palm to the side of his face. Letting his hands gently brush against the tips of his messy hair, he leans up and gives the other a final kiss, pulling away before the other tries to whisk him into his arms. "And there's mine. Go rest, Nikolaj. It'll do you good."

The Dane chuckles as he exits the room. All he wanted was to get a hold of the skin he'd been deprived of for what felt like so long. He's unaware as Eduard watches him from the door still. Yet Eiliv's door is ajar, and he wonders when the Norwegian went back up to his room. He's curious and it leads him to the door, grinning and not even particularly conscious to how his actions look.

He knocks on the Norwegian's door, pushing it open and calling out his name in a sing-song voice. While green eyes practically bore holes into his back, he slides in the room, grinning towards his old time friend on the bed.

Watching silently as Nikolaj closes the door, Eduard soon closes his own as well. He stays there for a moment, before shaking his head. The teenager hurries back to his bed, peeling the covers back and crawling in, covering himself as a frown is deep set on his face. Suddenly the night feels terrible, and he can feel his chest tighten as he clutches the pillow. All he knows is that when morning comes, he has absolutely no idea what to do.

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...Yep. I just wanted to leave it in a cliffhanger. Little bit of drama stirred up and all. And that's not all the drama there is to come, either. While I may have changed the hurt/comfort genre to Romance, there's still Angst as the genre too. Until next time! :)

Oh. And the only little notes that need to be here. 2 words. Danish beer. ...that, and Livonia was a country that comprised of parts of both Estonia and Latvia. Yep.


	6. I Promised You

INCREDIBLY LONG CHAPTER IS INCREDIBLY LONG. ..With all the footnotes included, longer then the first. Sigh. Oh well, inspiration hit, what can you say. D| It just kept growing and growing. And there was noooo good way to split it into reasonable sized chunks!

On the upside, as a whole, minus the footnotes, this fic has now surpassed 21,000 words. That's more then I've ever wrote before, I'm pretty darn sure. Woo.

Ktomson – The Nordics? All of them? Whattttt? Even the Finns?! I wouldn't of guessed that far. xD;

Nukii -- ...Boss/lover/host. I love that. To bits. Thank you so much. xDD

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It was a long, restless night. When morning came, Eduard got up from the bed, throwing the covers back up in a messy half-hearted attempt to make the bed. He quickly got dressed, although he felt hesitant to leave the room. Walking to the door, the teen rubbed at his eyes groggily. Bringing his hands up to ruffle his hair, he tried to compose himself. Feelings of deep betrayal swarmed him, wondering that if Nikolaj would do something of the sort so boldly while Eduard was there... It must have been normal for the Dane. With a deep sigh, he opened the door. Down the hallway, he glared at Eiliv's door, feeling his chest tighten at the prospect that the sandy haired blonde could at the moment be wrapped in nothing but the Norwegian's blankets.

He wasn't too keen on finding out, however. And so instead the young Estonian made his way to the modestly sized library. The sound his feet made on the wooden floor was the only sound that was in the house, and it was a bit eerie for some place to be so quiet in the day time. The sun seemed to have been up for quite some time now, light dancing across the dark floor from the window. He made haste, pushing the door open eagerly as he entered, the corners of his lips only slightly tugging up as he looked at the books.

Taking one from random, he picked it up and walked silently over to where the chairs were. He took a seat, hands trembling as he opened the cover. Eduard felt on edge, as if it was almost a chore to immerse himself into the literature. He could have done without seeing all the Danish words, surely, but he was never much imaginative on his own. Without the catalyst of the book he'd be cast off with nothing to do but mope. As he hunched over the table, he thought maybe it was just the dim light, but he realized unless he squinted, the finely written words seemed a bit blurred.

It wasn't long before he was steadily turning pages, having found a book that was on older Scandinavian mythology. So rich and full of tales, Eduard thought it seemed odd someone who had once subscribed to such voluminous beliefs would now only believe in one God instead of dozens. He found his eyes widening at Thor's strength, smiling at Odin's wisdom, even frowning in distaste to Loki's trickery. He didn't notice at all when Nikolaj opened the door, a finger still grazing along the bottom of every word as he read.

Although his head now felt not at all in better shape then it had the previous afternoon, Nikolaj had to spare a smile as he saw Eduard hunched over the book. Noting the absolute concentration, he finds it no problem to sneak behind him even though he would have been in broad sight if only the Estonian would have glanced up. The book his guest is flipping through is one he's himself read quite a few times, and he skims the shelves for a similar one he knows should be in his collection.

When he finds the large book, bound in red leather, he pulls it out and walks towards Eduard. As Nikolaj pulls a seat for himself out, it causes the Estonian to jump, quickly becoming aware of his presence. "Good morning." He offers, small grin on his face despite the dull pain of his head. "Have you been up long? Did you have the chef prepare you something to eat?"

Nikolaj leans in to give the other a peck on the lips, and he's confused when Eduard quickly shies away. "I've been up a while, yes. But no. I woke up and came in here." He dismisses the denial of his affection, setting the book down on the table. "We could always go get something to eat together, if you want. That's a pretty good book there though, huh?"

As he speaks, he keeps it brief and curt. He wants so badly to ask about the occurrences of the night, yet refrains with better judgment at hand. "I'm fine, thank you. I'd just like to continue reading." Eduard hopes that making his wishes clearly known will detour Nikolaj from bothering him further, but still, he has learned quite a bit about the other man. Not even attempts to be abrupt pull the Scandinavian away.

"Reading's nice, but you can't just stay up in here and..." He lets out a sigh, pushing the red-covered book over towards Eduard. "...Well, and if you were going to stay up here all day... If you like that book, this gets a bit more into the same stuff.....Are you even listening?" The Dane's smile turns to a frown, noticing the other boy has only turned back to his book. Eduard murmurs his response softly, indistinctly. He closes the book gently, keeping track in his mind of the page number so he can remember it before taking the other book. It seems a bit older, and it's definitely been read repeatedly. He takes it with interest, still trying not to even make eye contact with Nikolaj.

Eduard flips the book to the middle, skimming the pages briefly, a small frown on his face as Nikolaj reaches over and takes a hold of his shoulder. He's bothered himself; something seems odd with the Estonian who even just last night when he left him seemed in much better spirits then. It wasn't anything he did, in his mind, to cause this. Even though he had insisted a bit strongly that Eduard try the drink, it hadn't bothered him then...

When the teen gets to the back of the book, he freezes up. Emblazoned on the inside of the back cover is a branding, proclaiming the book to belong to Nikolaj. "I was thinking maybe of selling it to Sweden or Norway. Well, I could always get another, and it's kind of like a memento of time we spent together... ...Or, I could always just..." Carefully, Eduard runs his fingers over the letters. _Property of Nikol—_

Nikolaj's train of thought is derailed as he notices the other's frail looking state. "Eduard. You look a bit pale, are you alright...?" He watched curiously as the other pushes the book away, closing it. The way the Dane is acting so casual is enough to drive him insane, and he pushes out of his seat, standing up.

It's a reflex that makes him push his chair back in before he's bolting for the door, feeling overwhelmed beyond what he can handle. It's just a bunch of paper, bound together, but all of a sudden he feels as if it's the thing around the Dane's great home that he has the most in common with.

A possession. It's only a possession, yet time and time again, Eduard had been referred to as the same.

When Nikolaj grabs his arm, trying to pull him back, he watches the platinum-haired boy struggle. Yet he's not that strong, especially when taken out of his element, and the Dane grabs both of his shoulders, pulling him close. "What the hell is your problem?" The voice is low and sounds dangerous, and Nikolaj has tilted his head down to level his eyes with the Estonian's. Eduard doesn't even know what he wants to say anymore. He opens his mouth, trying to speak, trying to push his hands against the Dane's chest and wrestle away, trying to keep himself composed...

None of it seems to work. "There's no reason to flip out over nothing! Get it together!" The more Nikolaj urges, the more Eduard's trying to rehearse in his mind something to say, anything. Instead, his face flushes dark, trembling as he stares into those ice cold blue eyes, fear instilled in his own green eyes. When he glances to the table all he can see is the book, and for the first time, the countless times he had been called and branded only a possession of Denmark, it finally rings true to him.

The Dane could do anything he wanted, sell him, burn him down, leave him, trade him, everything that he could to a petty book. Not only that, but could he relish in owning his physical form, insist upon things, impose on him, make him believe things that aren't true...

Like the weeks, the months, that Eduard had begun to think that the Dane cared about him. But he was in reality, nothing still, just the most convenient thing that happened to be sitting around from time to time. The Estonian bows his head, finally tearing his gaze away, finally pushing words past his lips.

"J..Just... ...You were right. I don't feel well." Both the Baltic nation and the Scandinavian one share a sullen look, and with a deep sigh, Nikolaj pulls away from him. He rests the back of his fingers on Eduard's forehead, brushing his bangs to the side. Of course his body temperature feels normal, but Nikolaj can't tell the feelings of doubt and hurt that are chewing through the younger male on the inside.

"...Think you can walk down the hall?" The voice is firm, laced with authority. Yet it's a gentler one and Eduard draws his hands to his chest, crossing his arms and nodding. "Y-yes." The teenager stutters slightly, his physical body beginning to actually feel sick to its stomach.

"...Go back to bed and rest, then. I'll have a meal brought to you." He ruffles the shorter boy's hair back to the style it was previously in, holding his head gently for only a brief moment. Leaning in, Nikolaj presses a rigid kiss to his forehead, patting his shoulder and sending him on his way.

While in the hall, Eduard catches a brief glimpse of Eiliv coming out of his own bedroom down the hall. He seems completely unfazed, emotionless as usual. The Norwegian doesn't even acknowledge him. It only wrenches the Estonian's stomach more, and he quickens his pace to his room. Throwing the door open he enters, closing it swiftly again and heads for the bed. Although he does briefly contemplate returning back to sleep, he only sits on the edge, arms wrapped tightly around himself still as he stares down at the floor silently.

----------------------------------------------------

Days. It had now been days and a routine was established. Eduard would wake, find his way to the library and just read for hours on end. Whenever Nikolaj would try to speak with him, he kept it curt and simple. He kept even less contact with the other two Nordics, choosing solitude and introversion instead. The books are a nice escape, he finds, if only he remembers to not turn past the last page.

Nikolaj however, can't help but wonder about him. It _has_ been days, and he barely hears a peep out of Eduard. The teen's quieter then a mouse, always holding a book near his face. It's upsetting to see him that silent when he doesn't particularly even seem ill at all. That's what urges him into Eduard's room during the fourth day. For dinner, of course he had informed the Estonian, only to be told that he would come right down. Nikolaj believed and waited for him, waiting until dinner went cold and Eiliv and Hinrik had long finished before his patience ran out entirely.

He doesn't even knock for once when he enters the room. After all, the house is his and he fully believes he has ever right to do what he pleases to. Eduard is in the same exact position as when he had come up to fetch him earlier, sitting on the edge of the bed with the same book in his nose. Eduard is unblinking; reading still, up until the moment the Dane approaches him and literally rips the book from his hands. Shutting it and tossing it to the ground, he looms over the teenager, frowning.

"So you're going to ignore me completely, now?" Eduard looks up at his words, guilt flashing across his face. He suppresses it quickly again, still believing that Nikolaj is the one who should be wearing the guilt and shame. "I'm not ignoring you." He calmly replies, setting his hands in his lap. Nikolaj places his arms on the boy's shoulders, grabbing him, pulling himself down to level with him.

"You are. You _have_ been. And I don't believe for a damn second that those books are so fucking interesting you can't put them down to talk to me for two seconds. I know that I'm not a doctor, but it's obvious that you're not sick, either. So you might as well start talking, Eduard. Now."

The teenager was completely caught off guard by the outburst, and it's evident in his body language as he worms about uncomfortably. Shame burns on his face and he's trying not to look up, but he fails. Looking up into the frigid blue eyes, where he expects to find anger, it's mostly overshadowed with concern. Nikolaj keeps his hands firmly planted on his shoulders even when the Estonian tries to shrug them off. "Eduard..."

"...I..It's just..." Eduard grabs his wrists, still uncomfortable with the Dane being so close. "...I didn't know you slept with others..." Nikolaj has to strain to hear the barely audible voice, and when he does, it's a complete shock. He flips his hands around, struggling with Eduard for a moment to grab the teenager's hands. It's then that the Dane begins to chuckle, turning his head to the side as he tries to urge the Estonian to stand.

"Sleep with others? The hell are you talking about, Eduard?" The teenager stumbles up to his feet, quickly drawn close to Nikolaj's chest. "Well... ...when... ...when I first got here, you... You spent the night with Norway, didn't you?"

A blank look crosses Nikolaj's face as he strains to remember. "...It's been years since I slept with him... He's been busy kind of... ..taking care of Hinrik, I guess, and so he hasn't... ...wanted to, and..." He has to stop himself from speaking when he sees Eduard's equally surprised face. "...But you went in there..."

"Yeah. I went in, he left. I wasn't going to _sleep_ with him..." He laughs again, looking back down at the Baltic in disbelief of his thoughts. "_Really_, Eduard. Maybe if he threw me down on the bed we would have done something, but nothing happened. You could even go ask him. That all that's been on your mind then?" This whole situation could have been fixed right after it started, and Nikolaj feels a pang of hurt that the Estonian hadn't thought better of him.

Eduard still appears concerned, pulling his hands away from the Scandinavian's hold. Balling his right hand into a fist he holds it against his own chin, running his other hand through his bangs and holding it there decisively. "And... and then there were the books..." He murmurs softly, closing his eyes as soon as he feels Nikolaj's palms run up and down his arms.

He looks perplexed again, shuffling back a step or so. Glancing over at the floor, where he had thrown the one Eduard had been reading, he turns back to him. "...I thought you liked them?" The questions from Nikolaj bother him, in no way does he desire to explain himself. But the Baltic finds himself murmuring still, trying to recount his exact feelings.

"..I do.. but.. then you talked about selling them, and... ...And you can do that... they belong to you, they're your _possessions_, and... and nothing could stop you from doing what you want, and..." His anxious stuttering only has his host more confused, and Nikolaj rolls his eyes. Stepping back forward again, he takes a gentle hold of his wrists, trying to pry his hands from his face. "So?" Nikolaj stares at him, and when the Estonian's eyes open again he finds a pang of guilt going through him at the pained expression the younger one gives him.

"...But what about me... that's... That's all I am too, right? You could do whatever you want to me... Sell or... leave... and.. ..I just... I don't want you to do that..."

Nikolaj's expression softens, a bit of understanding finally hitting him. Giving up the fight with Eduard's arms, he leans in and cups his face gently, noting how badly the Estonian shakes as he pulls both hands in front of his own mouth. His hands are once again pushed away, and he tires of it. It feels as if he was just accused of conspiring to do those things, when getting rid of the Estonian or his land had never even crossed his mind before.

But it's painful to see him trembling. Nikolaj grabs his wrists, forcefully prying them away, hearing the soft sniffle the younger man gives. As shameful as it is, Eduard can't help as the edges of his eyes brim with warm tears, unable to even wipe them away before they begin to fall. As he can feel his own throat tightening, he reaches out and again grabs the shorter man's face. He leans in close, unwilling to let Eduard separate from him again, shaking his head while he brushes his thumbs against the tears.

"...No... _No_, Eduard... That's... I'd never sell you... That's just so..." When Nikolaj gives a soft sigh, Eduard can feel it against his lips, and he parts his own, breath coming out in small, shuddering gasps. All of a sudden all he wants is this comfort, for the Dane to be close, to _stay_ close. "...That's stupid, alright? And leave you...? I'd never do that... I'll never abandon you..." He promises, feeling it in his chest with such deep earnest.

"..But I'm just.." The thumbs stroking his cheeks stop and they feel like they're on fire, a red flush on his face. Even though Eduard tries to argue, the Scandinavian is ready for this. "...I know that... My ruler and I own all of you, but... we have no intentions of ever letting you go... You and I, as people, that's... ...That's something else, but it's the same story, you know?" Although his words aren't very precise, not the best thought out, they still sooth the Estonian. Even without the perfect words, in this close proximity, he feels he knows what the other meant, the feelings mirrored in himself.

"Y-yeah..." As the tears slowly halt, he wraps his arms around the other man's neck, pulling himself up close. Leaning in, Eduard places a needy kiss on his lips, delighting as it's returned in full by Nikolaj. Soon, he's clutching the yellow-blonde hair in his fingers, soft whines coming from his lips as their bond separates, lips hovering not even inches apart still. The taller man bridges the gap again, pushing their mouths together as he pulls and holds Eduard close.

It's slow at first, but passionate and sensual as the kiss deepens, tongues darting out to meet as their eyes close. The crucial promise makes Eduard want to stay like this forever, enveloped by another, and he realizes that if he believes in the words promised to him, that they could literally have _forever._ Despite the small whimper that his lover gives as he pulls away, Nikolaj only kisses his slick lips once more before giving another sigh, pressing their foreheads together.

He knows that if it goes on much longer, he'll want nothing more then to push Eduard back against the bed. Although Nikolaj is sure that it'd be delightful to make the other cry out in ecstasy, he wants to make sure first that everything is now smoothed over.

"Eduard... Are you okay now?" Before a word even leaves him, the tiny smile he gives is a telltale sign.

"Yes... After all, you always keep your promises, right...?" It draws a laugh from the Dane, who nods eagerly. "I do. Now come, if everything's fine then it's time for dinner. I'll drag you down there myself this time if I have to." Eduard gives a small chuckle, untangling his fingers and drawing his hands to his face. After one last subdued kiss he pulls away, rubbing at his eyes.

The foolish feeling is one he feels he can live with, and he walks away to the discarded book. Bending and picking it up, he brings it back to the bed and sets it down, treating the item with more respect then It's owner had. When he steps back towards Nikolaj, he looks at him carefully, shyly. His hand reaches out and he grabs Nikolaj's, nodding at him.

"No objections to me going to sleep though after dinner, is there?" Eduard questions, his hand enclosed in the Dane's. Nikolaj scratches idly at his neck with his spare hand, a look of reflection on his face for a moment that makes the other wonder if he'll be denied sleep.

The thought isn't helped any when Nikolaj starts to grin. In fact, Eduard is certain the other man is thinking thoughts that would make any maiden blush scarlet. "Aww, but Eduard... it's been a while..." He teases, planting a kiss on the other's forehead. Without even any pressure, the Estonian caves, although Nikolaj would have agreed with an objection to his idea.

"...I suppose I wouldn't mind..."

----------------------------------------------------

After their meal and their carnal acts in the Dane's bedroom, Nikolaj lays half on top of Eduard still. Their bodies intertwined, he strokes the other man's face as Eduard strokes his neck and back. Occasionally he lays soft kisses against the other's pale shoulder, looking up and gazing at him.

Nikolaj can't help to but admire the blush on his cheeks, the rest of him looking pale and feeling a bit cold even when under the covers. Trailing his hand down the other's jaw and neck, he grazes his fingertips barely against his chest, chuckling at the small shiver he gets in response. Eduard tilts his head, looking down at him with a smile.

"What are you doing?"

The other man shifts downwards a bit, nuzzling his face against Eduard's ribcage. His hand rests against his stomach, feeling as the teen's chest rises and falls with his breathing. "Just thinking..." As the hand is removed from his hair and Eduard starts to move around, Nikolaj looks up in alarm. He tries to hold him down gently.

"Would you like me to leave, then?"

"_No._" He moves his hand up to push Eduard back down by his shoulder, resting down against his chest once more. The teen shifts back comfortably against the bed, resuming his previous gentle strokes to the other's hair. "I have trouble falling asleep sometimes... Maybe company will help."

It isn't entirely a lie, after all Nikolaj is unused to sleeping without having a nightcap first. But the reasoning is also just plain and simply, he doesn't want the other boy to go either. It's even better sharing a bed when it's not small and kind of cramped like he puts up with when visiting Eduard, and this time they're all over each other for the sake of intimacy instead of space constraints.

"Oh." A soft murmur. "I could always tell you a story or something, then..." It's a childish offer, Eduard realizes the moment after he says it. He can practically feel the Dane chuckle before he hears it. "I've read those books a million times, I know them all."

"I have stories of my own, you know..." He gently reminds Nikolaj, who affectionately nudges at his ribs again. "You do?" Nikolaj grins when the Estonian tugs at his hair teasingly, a grumble and sigh coming from the teen he lays against. "I do."

"Then tell me a story..." Eduard shivers slightly again, a small, tickling sensation bristling against his skin every time the other's hair grazes against his chest. Yet he forgives it the moment he looks back down, seeing a sly smile and warm eyes looking up at him. "How about the story of how the world was created?"

"...Boring. Everyone knows that story." Nikolaj protests, lowering his head again. He's shushed by the teen, who soon begins to speak swiftly yet softly in his own native tongue. Fluent in the language, it does catch Nikolaj off guard at first, and he stops his hands gentle ministrations of rubbing Eduard's skin as he listens.

It's a song and this makes him smile, even though he tries to hide it against the other's skin. Eduard recites it carefully, telling of how the world was created when a bird laid out three eggs, the nestlings becoming the Sun, Moon, and Earth. To Nikolaj it sounds a bit familiar, yet silly still, and he can't help but wonder if the teen still subscribes to the pagan ways he's reciting when he's supposed to be Christian.

He allows it despite all this, closing his eyes. A smile stays on his lips, and his own breathing is slow and steady. When Eduard finishes, it looks almost as if his audience fell asleep, and with a smile of his own he grabs the covers, pulling them up over Nikolaj's shoulders.

Just when he almost slips into sleep, Nikolaj's mental awareness is jolted when out of nowhere it seems, Eduard murmurs a sure phrase to him. He can hear every word clear as day, and his eyes open.

"Ma armastan sind."

For a moment, since Nikolaj knows the other can't see his face, he seriously considers just pretending to be asleep. The hand is still gently stroking his hair, and nothing at all physically seems to have changed, but... he wonders when everything else changed. Meanwhile, Eduard just smiles down at him, happy at himself for having finally said the words, even if he thinks Nikolaj couldn't actually hear them.

With a deep breath, Nikolaj crawls up in the bed, watching Eduard's face go to surprise. He levels himself at the other man's height, a small grin on his face as he leans in for a small kiss.

"...Love you too."

It feels nicer to say it then he thought it could, finding all the emotions he felt when he looked and touched and even only _thought_ about Eduard were all encompassed nicely in those words. While the Estonian tilts his chin with a few fingers, Nikolaj can tell that's why the teen was compelled to say it in the first place, those very same reasons.

When he wraps his arms around the other and nestles against his platinum hair, Eduard turns around in his arms and seems to fit against him perfectly. It's not long before they're both actually asleep, feeling entirely content.

----------------------------------------------------

At the end of the week, reluctantly, Eduard knows he has to leave again. After all, whenever there is their own land to go back home to, as a nation they tend to get home sick much quicker then any human would. Even though he still kept occupied with the books every day, he made sure to make time for the previously neglected Nikolaj as well.

It did drive Nikolaj a bit crazy that when he allowed the Estonian in his bed, he'd usually try to drag books and would gladly read by candlelight all night long. But somehow that only made teasing him more fun, and he could care less if Eiliv or Hinrik were to hear their laughs. As he watched Eduard complete his packing, a small frown almost threatened to take over his lips, a sigh escaping regardless.

To Nikolaj's chest he holds loosely onto the book with the red cover, his old favorite he had claimed to be thinking of selling. As Eduard walks up to him, smiling, trying to keep happy and not let the departure be too sullen, he pushes it out towards him.

"I want you to have it. I tried to give it to you that day, even, but..." He lets out a small chuckle; figuring words aren't even needed to finish. Eduard takes the book carefully after he slings his bag around his shoulder, nodding with gratitude. "...Thank you."

"...Open it?" His voice has a hint of playfulness to it, and he watches as the Baltic obliges to his wishes. It's pleasant to see his reaction as at the first page, a thin silver chain lays, a silver cross pendant hanging off of it. Taking it out of the book, Eduard inspects it carefully, holding it up to his face while closing the book and tucking it under his arm.

Definitely, he believes the gift is actually one in poor taste. He never asked or particularly wanted the religion that the Dane pushed on him, but then again, most of Nikolaj's gifts seem tasteless. Eduard realizes when Nikolaj takes it from his hands and unfastens the backing before sliding it around his neck, closing it again, that this time it had at the least been meant in good spirits.

With small regret that his time as a host is coming to an end, he tucks the chain under the Estonian's shirt. The cool metal against his chest makes Eduard shift a bit uncomfortably at first, before he grabs the other's shoulders with one of his thin hands, leaning up to give him a kiss.

"I'll cherish it."

"You better." He grins and opens the door for the other, leading him into the hall. With Nikolaj's arm resting around his shoulder as they begin down the stairs, it's a small shock as the front door opens.

"Nikolaj! Eiliv, Hinrik! We're bac—Eduard!!"

"Tino!"

Suddenly he slips away from Nikolaj, hurrying down the stairs as fast as he can to meet his best friend. As Tino rushes for him as well, they meet at the bottom. The Finn wraps both arms around his younger friend while Eduard lets the book fall to the ground and does the same, smiles wide on both their faces.

"Moi! It's so nice to see you! Are you..?" He can feel the bag on his friend's back, and he pulls away, his purple eyes wide as he gasps. "You're leaving! We missed your visit!" For the aforementioned 'we', Tino turns around to look at Berwald, who's busily unclasping his cloak from around his neck.

"Yes, I.." He catches himself staring over at the Swedish man for a moment, feeling the same as Tino, ready to collapse under the heavy aura. Leaning down he picks the book back up, smiling warmly yet nervously at his friend. "..Have to get back home..."

"That's too bad... I suppose I'll see you when the spring sowing is complete, though?" When Eduard nods eagerly, always having found it was best to celebrate the summer solstice holiday with friends. Behind them, even while Nikolaj fights at a bit of jealousy, he masks it easily with a grin.

"Took an awful long time for such a simple job." He speaks mainly to Berwald, even though there's a flash of fret across Tino's face as well. The more imposing blonde of the four only grunts in response, before throwing his cloak over a chair and stalking off elsewhere. Tino can't help but watch as he leaves, giving a small sigh before trying to perk up and smile with Eduard.

"I'm sorry I missed out on your trip here... I'm sure it was so much fun, hm?" The tone he speaks in is a bit hushed, watching as the Dane hurries off most likely torment the Swede more. "...He really asks for it sometimes, doesn't he?" Eduard asks quietly, even though he's personally still haunted a bit by the laceration he'd sewn up for Nikolaj.

Tino laughs warmly and nods, finding most of the two seemingly rival men's battles to be quite comical as long as there were no sharp objects around and no real damage could be done. "Yes. A bit. Since the host left, though, I suppose I'll see you off?" He offers, eyeing the book that Eduard holds for a moment with curiosity before shaking his mind of it, pulling him out the door.

"That'd be wonderful, thank you." Before they get that far from the house, Nikolaj finds his way back to the door, giving a small chuckle to himself. "Come back some time, alright?" He calls out from the door, and Eduard turns around with a smile, nodding and waving. The departure is short lived as Tino hurries him along, and the Estonian has to force his smile from growing too large at his happiness.

"Must have been an awful visit, I know that Eiliv and Hinrik can be kind of cold to you... and Nikolaj is, well, Nikolaj... I just don't know why he sent Berwald and I off just before you were supposed to arrive, though..." Tino gave a wistful sigh, and Eduard gave a small shrug.

"I'm sure he had his reasons." The Finnish man seems reaffirmed in his happiness, and he nods, continuing to walk with his friend. "I'll be around next time though!"

Back at Nikolaj's home, he's nearly bounding around the house in happiness. Even after grabbing the previously discarded cloak and throwing it back in Berwald's face, there's no doubt that he seems... gleeful.

"...Y' look happy. Who'd y' kill?"

The Swede's thought process just sends Nikolaj into an even wider grin, and he crosses his arms over his chest. "Well! You kept Tino away for a week like I asked, doing absolutely nothing! So, at least I won't be killing you. Not today. I'll maybe see if I can fit you in another time, though."

He's impervious to the stare he receives in return, turning on his heels instead and walking away. When Eiliv comes into the room, Hinrik in toe, both looking a bit tired and less tidy then they should, while both of them note the attitude, neither of them speak up at all.

Instead, Eiliv only addresses Berwald, while Hinrik silently nods at him with dignity. "...He made more beer, you know. You should probably help yourself before he finishes it off tonight." Berwald slings his cloak over his shoulders and gives a nod, hoping his second attempt to get away from Nikolaj is successful.

----------------------------------------------------

Yes. I wanted to end on an increddiiibbblyyyy informal note. Why? ...I don't know. I've worked on this around three or four solid hours though. Feh.

And if you needed affirmation, 'Ma armastan sind' means 'I love you' in Estonian. D'aww.

Well, the history. Whee.

True facts! The Danes in fact at one point promised 'to never sell or abandon' Estonia. When I was doing research, trying to figure out how someone like how Denmark who seems to be as a happy, carefree kind of guy could fall in love, hearing that fact is what cemented me to the idea he could be a romantic as well.

(Although, if you know Estonian history.... You know how this turns out...)

And I don't remember/can't be bothered to look if I mentioned before that along with the above fact, Estonia was referred to by Danes as a 'personal Danish possession'. Ohoho.

Estonian mythology sources have come up with that Estonian pagans had a song and stories of how the world was created, centering on eggs. That seems to be a common thing in Finno-Ugric mythology, which Estonia falls under (Despite not being in the name, sob.) And well, fft. I thought it was a cute idea to use. :|

Speaking of which, the entire religious edge-- Estonians were pagans who were converted to religion by the Danes, who despite being former pagans themselves, became religious folk after their dealings with England and like countries during the Viking years. (Norway was especially vicious about converting people, it seems.) And, well, religion, for hundreds of years, has never been something that has stuck well in Estonia. Even now, they're one of the least religious countries, with somewhere upwards of 70% of people having no established religion. The gift serves a higher purpose though. Eh.

And the alluded to holiday Eduard and Tino ramble on at the end there about is now what's know as Midsummer, also known as Jaanipäev/Juhannus/Sankt Hans aften in Estonian/Finnish/Danish, although I'm unsure on whether or not to include that in.. any chapter at all. On second thought, it wouldn't be too bad of an idea, but probably will be saved for later on. Like. Centuries later.

I'm an Estophile, sob. That's why this seems all more to be around Estonia and Eduard's direction. I'll do lots more research on Denmark and the other Nordics, though, because even though I'm on the knowledgeable side, more knowledge never hurts.

And I did kinda flake a bit on Finland and Sweden's involvement for this chapter at least. They'll be more prominent later on, along with I'll get around to the Baltics and Russia eventually as well. I hope I did okay with their characterization, though. ..Anyways! Till next time.~


	7. So much

Wellllll. It's been a nice long while but I decided to finally start updating this again. I'm sorry to everybody for making the wait be so long! Truth is, I've never composed a story this big, and, well.. Kind of got burnt out doing so much at once. I still believe that I have my notes and folder I used for this story around somewhere, so I'll be dragging that out.

Umnnn. We're still in the old ages here! But... This is still planned to span quite some time. So...

Except at least another chapter by the end of this week |D;;

(It's kinda sad too, after I stopped writing on this every day, it got more popular.. xD; )

And thank you to everyone who reviewed!

* * *

Copenhagen, Denmark

A summer heat wave in Copenhagen never was a pleasant thing. Instead of inviting Eduard to come visit, if Nikolaj knew the weather would be so unpleasant he would have skipped off for a trip to Tallinn instead. And while Nikolaj didn't particularly care if anyone knew of the romance he was sharing with one of his wards, he still wasn't inspired to be affectionate out in the open. This became an increasing frustration to the Scandinavian, as he'd been unable to send Berwald or Tino off again on a frivolous expedition to nowhere, leading the house seeming crowded and full.

Eduard, on the other hand, didn't make any moves on the Dane either around others. Their friends stayed in the dark about their relationship, something neither of them ever put much mind to. In fact the only thing that bothered Nikolaj was that he was always the one having to initiate things with the Estonian. Yet his bother always seemed to dissipate when he'd see Eduard on his own somewhere, gladly jumping in to start with anyways.

Such as now. Nikolaj opened the library door and smiled pleasantly as he found Eduard in there, reading alone. He closed the door behind him quietly. Usually he couldn't even get him alone in the library; as long as Berwald was around he'd usually take shelter in there as well. Just as he began to stride over to Eduard, the teen noticed him, and stood up.

"Nikolaj, I was just about to try and find you, I was having problems with this..." He quickly explains, reaching the Dane as he holds the book open. Nikolaj rolled his eyes briefly, walking past the younger man trying to come to him with his dilemma. Instead walking over to the chair the Estonian had just been occupied, he sits, beckoning him over instead. Eduard had already begun to follow him, a bit of confusion on his face.

"Yeah. I'll help you. Just come sit with me." Just as the other teen goes for another chair, he interrupts him. "You can sit on my lap, you know." He realizes the Baltic is staring at him with shock on his face, and Eduard for a moment can't get over how absolutely childish it would seem. For the Dane, even though he's helped to rear Greenland and the Faeroes, he seems nothing out of the ordinary about it.

Slowly, Eduard listens, walking over to him yet pausing instead of seating himself. The other man grabs him by his hips, making him sit, and the Estonian turns his body so he can set the book where Nikolaj can see as well. It makes his face burn red, being so close, yet Nikolaj only puts his chin on the other's shoulder to look down at the book.

As the Dane reads, his voice low and firm, Eduard finds himself paying little attention. Instead, he's focused on Nikolaj's face, watching his eyes skim over each word, feeling against his shoulder every time the other's jaw moves... At nights lately even, he doesn't have time with Nikolaj. The Estonian is worried that if Tino or even the other Nordics find out, even by just seeing him leave the Dane's room in the mornings, that they'd believe something to be wrong with him.

And so he gently closes the book, causing a small startle for the Scandinavian. He looks up at question to the other blonde, who is slowly turning in his lap. Placing his hands up on Nikolaj's chest, he kisses the older man, delighting in the taste it feels as if he's gone so long without. Happily obliging, the stronger nation wrapped both his arms around Eduard's waist. When Eduard's drawn close he gently bites the other's bottom lip --just a small, playful nip-- before pulling his head away.

"Can we go to your room?" The gentle question makes Nikolaj grin, loosening his arms a bit. He would have had no problem taking the other boy right there in the chair—it _was_ his house after all—but he obliges with the other boy's wishes. As they both stand, Eduard grabs his hand, dragging him along out of the room. When they get to Nikolaj's room he opens the door, taking a small moment to glance around and make sure that no one else is around.

Pulling Nikolaj inside, he again attacks his lips when the door is shut, kissing him with eagerness. With his hands braced against the Dane's shoulders, he is glad when Nikolaj starts pushing him toward the bed. There's a gentle breeze coming in the room, a welcome break from the stuffiness of the library.

Eduard reluctantly pulls away from their kisses, sitting at the bottom of the bed and beckoning the other man close. Nikolaj leans over to place a small kiss on him before pushing his shoulders back against the bed, hands quickly sliding up under the other's thin shirt. He stops when he can feel his hands graze against the necklace, sliding his hands back down. The Estonian can't help but to moan as his shirt is pulled up and the Scandinavian begins to trail kisses along his neck, quickly making his way down further.

Along his torso, besides the kisses, he leaves small bites. It's not in cruelty; just his particular style of love making has never been the most gentle. And Eduard doesn't mind the teeth grazing against his chest; almost twisting around in delight instead as Nikolaj's head nestles against his stomach. With the Dane's hands on his hips now, barely nudging his trousers teasingly down, Eduard wraps his fingers in the other's vibrant blonde hair.

A low moan is Nikolaj's reward as he slides his tongue along the teen's hips, placing a hand firmly on top of his lover's front which gets a shudder of pleasure in response. Nikolaj is fueled with a desire to kiss at every inch of the lithe boy's skin, the pale form in front of him appearing as priceless as Andvari's ring.

Just as he starts to gently grope at Eduard, there's a knock on the door. The Baltic quickly withdraws his hands, eyes widened, while the other man just bows his head, resting his forehead against Eduard's stomach with a sigh.

"Nikolaj?" Tino's light voice carries through the door, and the called-out for man gives a grumble. Letting his hands fall away from Eduard, Nikolaj stands, turning to face the door. The teen on the bed scrambles to pull his shirt back down, trembling at the idea of his friend walking in on this. "Nikolaj, I just thought I heard you come in here, I had something to ask..."

As the stronger blonde starts for the door, Eduard gets up and follows behind him, staying off to the side as he hears Tino knock loudly again. He stays behind the door, rubbing at his flushed cheeks, fixing his hair... Actions that make Nikolaj smirk at him before he opens the door just a few inches, keeping the Estonian out of view. "What is it, Tino?" The violet-eyed blonde nods his head in respect, nervous, always nervous of course, around the Dane, although he tries to hide it with being chipper.

"I was just wondering if you knew where Eduard was, we were planning on cooking for you all tonight, but I couldn't find some things at the market, and—" Nikolaj cuts him off, knowing the Finnish boy to be one who could go on forever with speaking about the same things repeatedly.

"I have no idea where he is. You should check outside. And besides, you two shouldn't be playing chef anyways." He reaches out of the door to ruffle the other's soft blonde hair, much to Tino's chagrin. "His food's a bit bland and you know what I think of yours." Even with the teasing grin on the other's face, Tino takes it as a bit of a personal insult.

"Nonsense. I'm sure you'll like what we cook." Tino's always been admirable in the sense he speaks what he believes, although the Dane of course can tell his nervousness and thinks that it may just be a quirk from that. Nikolaj leans against the door frame and gives a small chuckle, glancing at Eduard for a moment who still looks petrified out of his mind. Turning back to Tino, he gives a smirk. "Try checking outside. That's where I last saw him."

"In this heat?" The Finn looks doubtful, but shrugs it off. "I'll try. Thank you." And just like that, he takes his leave, as Nikolaj peaks his head out the door to watch him. Blue eyes follow him as he walks down the staircase, and Nikolaj only looks back when he hears a thankful sigh from Eduard.

"Yeah. I wish it wasn't so crowded too." Nikolaj steps back in and closes the door, staring at the ever timid looking Estonian. Eduard nods, glad that the other seemed to pick up on what he was about to say before he did. All he can offer is a chaste kiss, giving a small laugh as he pulls away. "Last thing I need is my best friend to walk in on us..."

"Or interrupt us again." Eduard nods, a smile on his lips. He can't help but feel as if he evaded quite a barrage of surprised Finnish coming from Tino, even as his smile fades as he sighs. "Well, I should go before he comes back, right? ...And you don't... Really think my food is bland, do you?"

He forgives the weak shrug Nikolaj gives as soon as the other man lays a kiss to his forehead. "Maybe just a bit." Eduard brushes briskly against him as he switches places with him, finally feeling composed enough to leave. The Dane's laugh makes him smile, even as he leaves him behind.

* * *

Well~ Just a note or two here.

I love Estonian food. I really do. I have a cookbook on it and everything and being in culinary school, it intrigues me a lot. I... Kind of find it a bit bland though. It's very different from food of other cultures.. I've heard this though is because it's supposed to be seasoned right before eating by the individual person.. So if you're having some and you don't know that... |D; While a lot of other food is really heavily and often overseasoned though, Estonian food is usually quite simple and delicious ;w; My personal favorite is seakarbonaad~

Andvari's ring... It's an old Scandinavian mythology thing. Andvari was a dwarf, he used his ring to create gold.

Sorry this chapter was so short!


	8. Must Be Honest

I didn't mean for it to be posted now on Sunday! I had hoped to get it posted up Friday... Unfortunately, I was involved in catering an art show and didn't get back home until almost midnight.

All of your reviews have meant very much to me! Tak/Aitäh, everyone!

With this chapter, this entire fic shall have surpassed 30,000 words. Myself.. I've always personally hated and never saw the point of long fanfiction. |D; It's me though, to set out to do something about half or less of this size and have it snowball!

..You may want to skip a chunk of this chapter if you don't like reading... intimate times.

* * *

Saaremaa Island, Estonia

"This is where your pirates used to play, isn't it?" Nikolaj chuckles, turning down to watch just in time as Eduard arches an eyebrow. A small smile turns up the corners of his lips, thinking back to the days of when his pirates populated the island, even before he knew of the Dane beside him. This island Eduard's dragged them to visit hasn't seen that sort of action for quite some time.

"Pirates? No. That sounds a bit too dangerous for my tastes." The Estonian teases, although he knows he can't get it past the other man. It's the story of how they met, when the platinum blonde had a desire to roam the seas. "Too dangerous? Yeah. You were a pain in the ass, not necessarily _dangerous_ though." With a wide smirk he nudges the younger man, now reveling in remembering when he brought Eduard to submission for doing such things. They both share a small laugh.

Although it was long enough ago now, Eduard can realize the irony that he wouldn't laugh about it still in other company. Nikolaj is still looking around, letting the nature soak in. It's calm and quiet, the fall air crisp, and they're able to hear the birds chirp and the waves crash against the shore behind them even as they travel further inland.

"I thought this land didn't belong to you anymore." This time the question stings a bit. Yet while others may have laid ownership to the land, Eduard's convictions still run strong. "They never come around. And while they may say they rule it, the land is part of me still." With a small sigh, Eduard continues to guide his guest through the land.

"So you're not afraid of getting your ass kicked for being around here?" The Baltic gives him a sour look, not even having considered the thought of the other imposing force he deals with would have a problem of him being on his own land. "You don't think they would, do you?" Nikolaj catches the worried look, and pats the other boy's shoulder. "...No. You know, though, this place does look kind of familiar..." He stops for a moment, taking a good look around.

"You had a fortress here once." Eduard reminds Nikolaj gently. With a chuckle the memories start to come back to him, and Nikolaj continues walking, hearing the leaves crunch under his feet. "Oh. Yeah, and we couldn't find anyone to take care of it, so—"

"So you burned it down." With his sentence being finished for him by his companion, Nikolaj gives a nervous chuckle. "I did, didn't I." He muses back on the thought. Eduard lets out a soft grumble under his breath, although the Dane has no regrets, no apologies. The past is the past to him, and today, that event holds no meaning to him anymore.

"So where are we going? Or did you just drag me out here to try and get me to feel bad about it?" It's an honest and blunt question that brings a small laugh from the Estonian. "No. I'm taking you somewhere special." It piques Nikolaj's interest, and like a curious child he turns his head down to look at the other man. A playful grin tugs at his lips at the thought, mind running with ideas. He doesn't know that if it wasn't for his supposed religious change that Eduard would describe it as sacred.

"Oh? And what's that?" Of course he can't resist trying to ask, attempting to coax the location from the Baltic. Yet the Scandinavian is left wondering as the other shakes his head, refusing to give anything up. "You'll find out when we get there." It's a place he's known and loved since he was a child, and just finally after much internal debate has decided to share it with someone willingly who's an outsider.

"When will we get there?" It's not only that Nikolaj truly is eager to know, but that he never tries to hide his more childish antics. "When we get there." Eduard replies simply. "We'll get there, when we get there."

* * *

Kaali Lake, Saaremaa

The Estonian finally was slowing down, much to Nikolaj's relief. He had initially thought it would be a shorter trip then it was, and he was still curious on their destination. As they trudged down a small incline, he was surprised to see a near-perfectly round lake in the middle. The light seemed to sparkle off of the round body of water.

It was then that Nikolaj figured they must only be stopping there to rest, but seeing the smile on Eduard's lips then made him doubtful. To the Dane, it just looked like another body of water, nothing that special or unique about it except perhaps it's shape. "This is all?" He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, looking around. The Baltic gave a soft chuckle, bowing and nodding his head.

"All?... That's a little... crude. This is a very important place..." Stepping away from the taller man, he walks down to the edge of the lake. Nikolaj's brow rises in piqued interest, watching as the other kneels down at the water. There's almost a sullen look on the teenager's face as he skims his hand across the top gently. It's with respect that he gently strokes his fingers over the surface, breaking it and watching the ripples.

Although it takes him a moment or two, Nikolaj finally walks to him, still not getting the point of this trip. He looks down at Eduard, nudging his leg gently with his foot. "Important? It's just a lake." When he rises back to his feet, he turns to the Dane who watches silently for a moment as the other places the wet fingertips to his cheek. He waves his other arm out, gesturing to the lake, regaining a smile on his lips.

"It's where the sun goes to rest at night." Eduard watches as the puzzled look doesn't leave the other's face. There's a small scoff of disbelief, bright blue eyes scanning the water again expecting something more visibly significant. He doesn't fully understand the old myths regarding the lake, how something from the sky above crashed to the island, leaving it. As he stares, the Estonian is just pleased with himself for bringing Nikolaj out there. He did hold it as a sacred place, after all, and bringing the other man here was a question of trust. "Where... The sun rests?"

"At night, yes. When the sun is no longer in the sky... It comes to rest here." He trails his fingers down, looking at the water he grazed against the other man's skin. There's a small chuckle threatening to break from Nikolaj's lips, and he turns back to Eduard, almost immediately spurning an insulting comment about it, but stops when he realizes the Estonian's looking back over the lake. He looks at peace with his nature, and although to Nikolaj it seems to just be another body of water out of the hundreds of them out there, he can tell that the other does think of it as more.

"I found this place a long time ago." The teen states, resting both his hands now on Nikolaj's shoulders. When he leans in, he rests his head against the other's chest, a soft sigh of content escaping him. With the other man's body drawn close to him, Nikolaj lets out a small laugh finally, wrapping both arms around him as well. Resting his chin on the top of his head, he figures that maybe for the mean time its okay for them to be like this. "Well, I'm sure after being chased all day, she'd think this is a good place to rest." He plays along just for the moment, remembering his own older roots.

"You think so?" Nikolaj lets out a small murmur of agreement, much to the Estonian's joy. He closes his eyes for just a second, before starting to pull away. Nikolaj pulls back as well, tilting his head down to look at him with a small smile. "Well, it's too bad we don't have that luxury though... I don't think it'd be good if we're stuck out in the woods during night."

Yet their hands still haven't left from each other, and there's reluctance in both of them. "Yeah. I mean, if you wanted to be camping, you should have planned better." The Dane teases, slowly shrugging Eduard's hands off his shoulders. "I should have, shouldn't I?" Although it was never his intention in the first place, he chuckles at the thought, reaching down and for the mean time taking one of Nikolaj's hands to hold on to. "Hopefully I can remember the way to the boat."

"You're not going to fool me, alright?" Nikolaj grins, walking with him back up the small incline. "Now come on."

They didn't even get that far away before one hitch -- a branch lying under leaves on the ground -- sent the Estonian spiraling to the ground. He instantly gasped in surprise, trying to reach his hands out to brace his fall, a searing pain suddenly occupying his ankle. The older man quickly kneels down next to his lover, watching as he tries to push himself off the ground. "You okay?!" At hearing the urgency, Eduard nods. His knees bend fine, he tries to stand, but the pressure on his ankle causing sudden pain.

He stumbles again, turning around and sitting instead on the ground. Inching backwards until his back hits the trunk of a tree, he juts his leg out to look at his injured ankle with a whimper. "I thought you said you were okay?" Swiftly he gets the Estonian's pants leg untucked from his boots, waiting for him to move as he then slides the show off. Taking the other's ankle tenderly with both hands, he slides the fabric up so he can inspect it.

Eduard sucks in a breath as the other tries to manipulate his ankle to see the extent of which it can move without pain. His leg trembling is an obvious giveaway to the hurt, and he cringes. "I thought I was." He admits, the pain making him lightly jump every time Nikolaj even touches his leg. When he's done, he sets the teen's leg back down against the ground. For a moment, he can't help that it's just his nature as Nikolaj's blue eyes travel along the inside of the other's leg. He continues to look up until he hits the other's body. Before his thoughts wander too far, he pries his sight away, eyes softening as he looks up at Eduard's face.

The face that's flushed red with quite the perturbed look on it, as Eduard thinks to himself. One stupid little misstep and he's rendered like this. Drawing his uninjured leg up to his chest he wraps an arm around it, a cold breeze nipping at his cheeks. Nikolaj rests on his knees, crawling up to the other blonde. "The bone's not sticking out or anything, you'll be fine. It's not as if you're a horse, I'm not going to kill you for a hurt leg." Grabbing at Eduard's legs, the Estonian almost reluctantly allows him to pry the apart. The Dane inches in closer and when he's close enough, he instead takes a hold of the other's face.

"I know, just..." He's interrupted instead by Nikolaj, who busies himself placing a kiss reassuringly against his lips. "It's fine. We can rest here for a while, right?" Eduard nods, moving both his arms to wrest around the other's shoulders. Nikolaj secures his arms around Eduard's waist, pressing more kisses to his lips before trailing them around to his cheeks and jaw.

The Estonian lets out a small smile, closing his eyes as he feels the pleasing sensation of lips against his neck. Changing his mind on where he wants his hands to be Nikolaj slides them instead against the other man's jacket, opening it and sliding it to expose the shirt underneath. His skillful fingers then begin to unbutton the shirt. Eduard chooses then to look down, opening his eyes and looking on with hesitation. "...Are you...?"

Nikolaj grinned, looking up just as the other teen leaned down to kiss his lips. "Am I what?" The Dane teased, his fingers lightly brushing against the silver chain that hung from the other's neck. "Looking down at the necklace with a small chuckle, Eduard's face was now red from soothing other then his previous frustration. "Thinking about...?" Even though he's too embarrassed to say anything further, the digits running along the top of his stomach seemed to be answer enough. "Thinking about what?" Nikolaj continued to press on.

Eduard slowly worms his way out of his jacket. Although it was getting a bit chilly at this time of year, as he cast his jacket to the ground beside him, the teen was pretty sure as long as he stayed close to the other he'd be fine. Plus the fact the type of activity he was anticipating was already beginning to make him feel plenty warm enough to make up for the loss of a jacket. He began to undo the other man's jacket.

There was a small feeling of triumph for the Dane as a few small moans left his companion, just as soon as he nipped at the other nation's neck and shoulder, hands roaming and grazing against his torso. The teen moved to slide Nikolaj's jacket off as well, and the Dane reluctantly stopped for a moment to allow it. "You know what I mean, Nikolaj..."

"Well, you said we could rest for a bit, right?" Nikolaj exposed his white teeth in a wide grin, watching as Eduard threw his coat alongside his own. He hooked his fingers into the bottom half of the Estonian's shirt, as he had only gotten rid of half of the buttons. Eduard gave a start as suddenly the other pulled his hands down, tearing the fasteners from his shirt. Suddenly much more exposed, he feels a bit self conscious, ready to draw his hands together to hide himself.

Yet the other man has hands conditioned with expertise, and just by stroking and grazing his nails against Eduard's more sensitive skin it gives him thrills. Nikolaj pulls one of his hands down towards the teen's belt, hastily trying to undo it with one hand. The attempt is less then successful, and the Baltic has to reach his hands down to undo his own belt. He pulls it from it's loops, casting it to the side.

As he feels the cool metal of the other's belt buckle his hands seem to only get clumsier, if it's from nervousness or the Dane's hand sliding down his pants, he can't exactly tell. Not only was the other's hand now groping around his most sensitive areas, but his knee was pushed up near his groin, helping add just enough extra pleasure to the strokes. Nikolaj relished in the way the other boy was squirming around in pleasure; manipulating and grasping at him until from Eduard's mouth came small warnings and pleas of how desperate he needed to release.

As soon as he was finally able to pull the Dane's belt away and throw it to the side, he grabbed onto the ground instead, hands on either side of him. He jutted his hips against the touches, ignoring for now the discomfort sitting against the tree brought. When Nikolaj pulled his hand back away, it was like torture, the Estonian's every nerve feeling as if it were on edge. A plea or two came from his lips, and he let go of the ground just long enough to grab back onto the other's shoulders. Using it to pull him in closer, he meshed their lips together, whimpering in desire against the kiss.

One of Nikolaj's hands reached down to his leg, grabbing and yanking the other boot that remained on him off, both of his hands trying to work in unison to at least get one pant leg off of the pale thin limb before him. Eduard may not of been used to having his leg pulled the ways the less then careful Dane was directing them but he put up with it, small pants still escaping as he let his leg be exposed.

As the fabric was pulled away from his body, he cringed as his back hit the ground again, the dirt, small rocks, leaves and twigs not much at all agreeing with his soft skin. But the Dane stayed close, hoisting the teen's leg on his shoulder, keeping a hold on it. As soon as Eduard pulled down his trousers, he let a small groan out as the teen teasingly ran his palm across Nikolaj's arousal. He pushed his hips forward a bit at the feeling, urging the other to push harder.

The Estonian looked down as he felt a finger prod at his lips, stroking against the bottom one. He opened his mouth a bit, enough to let the other's finger in, catching Nikolaj's amused look for a fleeting moment as he licked at the digit, another one soon being added. Sucking on the other's fingers, he kept up the charade of strokes with one hand as he let the other rest on his own stomach.

When Nikolaj finally felt satisfied with the job Eduard had done, he removed his fingers, leaning in to replace it with his lips. Gently coaxing at the younger boy's lips with his tongue, it wasn't long before the Estonian allowed the kiss to deepen. His brow was furrowed in worry, anticipating as the other blonde's hands hovered over his body. Treading the slick fingers lightly against the smooth skin of the Baltic's inner thigh, Nikolaj let his hand creep upwards, gently stroking against the other's entrance. Eduard moved a hand up to grasp at Nikolaj's collar, balling his fist up.

It hurt as the finger entered him; it always did, the entire process mildly discomforting at first. He tried to get his mind off the pain as their tongues clashed together, barely having had time to adjust to the first before the second was added. With the other's long fingers curling around his member, Nikolaj gave a groan into the kiss. Most of Nikolaj's gentleness was just for the sake of teasing, and he was doing none of that now as he pushed his fingers in and out a good few times, hastily preparing the lithe boy underneath him.

Pulling away from Nikolaj, he was still at least against the other's lips as he spoke. His eyes were opened and focused, staring intently at him, as he murmured out. "Just take me, okay?" Swallowing his breath, he could feel the other stop his hand and Nikolaj opened his eyes up to be met with that stare. He laid a quick peck on Eduard's lips, taking his fingers out to hold his hand instead around his lover's leg.

"Whatever you say." He voice was like velvet as he purred out the words. Nikolaj leaned his head in towards the other's ear, trying to distract the other with small nips. Uncurling his fingers from the other's arousal, as Eduard rested his head back, arching his spine outward. The Dane was grasping both his leg and had a firm hold against his hip now. Eduard used his light hold to guide the other against him, biting down on his bottom lip as he braced himself.

As he felt Eduard's nails grip into his shoulder, his own hand mimicked it involuntarily against his hip and thigh, grabbing and trying to pull the other close as he pushed inside of him. Nikolaj let out a gasp, the boy beneath him so tight and warm and he just wanted more—not just more, but all of what he had to give. He pushed his hips in, a low moan coming from him as he listened to the Estonian's shaky breath while he whines.

Feeling as the other man nestles against his hair, Eduard continues to beckon the Scandinavian further, whimpering as the other finishes filling him. For a moment he stays completely inside while Eduard shudders, wanting to curl his other leg around Nikolaj but fearing it'd only draw more pain to his ankle. The teen turns his gaze up to look at the trees and the sky above, already feeling the bark behind him being to dig into his shoulders.

When the Dane begins to pull out, only to push back in, unleashing thrusts into him, he starts to slide the hand from the Baltic's hips to his length instead, once again giving him attention. He begins pushing harder, going faster, listening to the moans permeating through the air. Eduard swings one of his hands behind him, reaching up and bracing himself against the tree. He closes his eyes, softly whining, feeling as the bark digs into his skin. It's still uncomfortable, as leaves and sticks claw into his lower back, digging into his skin. He could nearly feel the blood pool at the scrapes, although he had to wonder if it was real or imagined.

Although he definitely had more comfortable sex before, it wasn't like this time it was any worse in any other way. The Dane above him seemed not to notice any of these things, only focused on pushing in and out, his fingers working faster. Even though there was nothing but grunts and groans from the other blonde, it was almost as if he could hear someone calling out his name, and his eyes widened, turning his head—

"Eduard?"

It was faint, but it was definitely there. Panic started to run through him, everything felt just so _perfect_ right now and he didn't want to stop... Looking up at Nikolaj, he wondered if maybe he'd just imagined it since the other didn't seem to change at all. "Did... did you hear that?" Eduard murmured; paranoia across his face.

"Hear... what?" He asked, leaning his head in to nip at the younger man's neck. Running his tongue along the exposed skin, he tried to ignore as Eduard seemed to want to push him away. Too caught up in the much closer sounds, he was only focused on hearing the delightful moans pushing past the Estonian's lips. But now that the moans seemed to only get fainter... For a moment, he thought he heard it too-- a familiar voice calling out his blonde lover's name, confusion quickly showing on his face.

"Shhh." Nikolaj murmured harshly for a second, listening more intently to the other things around him. When he heard the voice again call out Eduard's name, he let out a low chuckle, shaking his head and instead continuing on as he had been. There was of course only one person who'd be running around looking for the Estonian, and Nikolaj could gauge that the blonde, purple eyed Nordic was far enough away to continue doing as he pleased. He pressed his hand harder against the Estonian's arousal, jerking at him with a bit of added roughness.

Even with reacting positively to what Nikolaj was doing physically, his mind was still running rampant with the knowledge someone was looking for him. This was more then just a compromising position to be caught in, it'd be downright scandalous. "Just stay quiet, alright? I doubt he'll even find us." Nikolaj found it a bit hard to speak as he continued to move inside the other teen. But he'd be absolutely damned if he'd let Tino _again_ take away his delight, choosing to risk it instead.

"Stay quiet?! What if he—" Eduard found a hand suddenly clamped against his mouth, his nervousness only increasing. The Dane gave a cocky grin, confident and sure in himself, gripping tightly on to the pale leg he held onto still. "Makes it a little dangerous is all, right?"

Eduard didn't want to stop either, particularly. He had to admit that the other man was right, and he nodded, staring in to his companion's eyes. "Good. Just try not to make a lot of noise." Nikolaj took his hand from the other's mouth, moving it back down to press against his stiff member again. Almost immediately the Estonian let out a hiss of approval, quickly bring down one of his own hands to clamp in front of his lips, biting down on his palm. It was unbearable to try and stay silent, writhing as he pushed his hips against Nikolaj.

With his head turned back it was only a few moments longer before he found himself unable to hold back. After releasing he let out a sigh of relief, only satisfied for a moment before panic over the voice that was coming closer still overtook him. Nikolaj seemed to be taking forever to Eduard, and he began to whine softly, incessantly almost. The Dane pulled the teen closer to him, enjoying the sensation of the Estonian's legs shaking, every nerve in his body feeling lit on fire.

In a flash it finally was over, and he pressed a kiss to Eduard's neck as he came, groaning his name just faintly under his breath. Bowing his head he forced himself to regain his composure, letting go of the other teen slowly. Eduard's fingers gripped into his hair as they pulled each other close for a chaste, brief kiss. "Just get dressed and stay here." Nikolaj commanded as he pulled back away, giving a stern nod to the other.

The Estonian finally got himself together, cringing as he shuffled around to try and get presentable, while Nikolaj had no problem at all in fixing his clothing. The voice calling out Eduard's name was now even closer, and Nikolaj hurriedly fixed his jacket on. He grinned down to Eduard, who was struggling with his clothes a bit, moving stiffly as he cringed through doing so. "So I just keep going that way right?" The Dane stuck his thumb out and Eduard only glanced briefly, nodding before grumbling to himself.

He watched as Nikolaj walked off, wrapping his jacket around his chest, having given up on trying to fix his jacket. It seemed as if it was divine intervention that as soon as the Dane was out of eyeshot, the voice was suddenly right up on Eduard. Startled at first he turned quickly, trying to keep a smile on his face despite the pain from his back. "Eduard! I've been yelling your name for ages!"

Tino's face was flushed a light pink from the air and he gave a huff, shaking his head. "Why didn't you answer?" He watched as his best friend stood in silence for a moment, bringing a hand up to his mouth. Giving a fake cough, he cleared his throat, smile wavering on and off.

"S-sorry, Tino. Couldn't... get my voice that high." He tried to sound as if his throat was hoarse, trying not to appear as nervous as he actually was. Tino gave a small laugh at his reply, and even at the more relaxed attitude of his friend, Eduard was still nervous. Not to mention he now even felt a tiny bit of shame for doing the things he just had. "Not back to your old ways with the lake, are you?" Still a bit out of it, it took the Estonian a moment to realize what his friend was alluding to.

"Oh....Oh! No! No, Tino... Don't be ridiculous..." He shook his head, bringing his hand back down so he could cover both arms over his jacket and keep it closed. "Uh... So! What do I owe this visit to, Tino?" The Finnish boy seemed to have a sly smile on his face.

"I tried to visit you at your home. No particular reason, Eduard. Then I was told you were over here instead... You know, Livonia really isn't too happy with you for it either." The teen gave a small groan, shaking his head and looking down at the forest floor. Out of all the things he needed right now, an angry belligerent wasn't one of them. "He is, is he?"

"Well..." Tino twisted his body slightly to peer behind Eduard, and when the younger man caught this he curiously turned as well, although he saw nothing but trees. He turned back to the Finn, lips solemnly in a straight line in comparison to his smiling friend.

"It's not that you came. But it's that you brought a _guest._"

Perking up, he was quick to deny the fact. "A guest? How would... he even know? I didn't bring a guest..." He mumbled, a bit awestruck. The only thing that made sense to him was if Tino had seen Nikolaj perhaps, and if he had, Eduard wondered just _what_ he saw. There was just something about Tino's expression...

"Eduard. There are hardly people here. Trying to keep a secret is pointless. And, you know how men like _them_ are. They think someone else is sniffing around their territory..." Suddenly the blonde sighs, gingerly leaning back against the tree. There's no amusement present in his face, speaking in a dull monotone. "Right. I understand. I only brought him here because... Well. I'd rather have him here then near my capital." He tried to lie, squinting slightly as he watches the Finn step closer.

"Here, hm?" Tino's observant. His friend would usually act more open with him, he knows, and the lack of that tells him something is going on. As he steps closer, he accidentally kicks a belt laying on the ground, and both of the Europeans look down. Bending down, Tino's pale hands wrap around an edge of it, pulling it up as he stands, glancing at Eduard. Lifting it up he jerks his head toward it.

"...My arm was feeling unwell."

"Right." He throws the belt to his right, letting it fall with a thud against the autumn leaves. Finally he's close enough to the teenager. Delicately, he skims his long fingers down Eduard's cheek, even though the Estonian tries to back against the tree as much as he can. The Finn's fingers dance against his neck, trailing downward. "You know, Eduard..."

Eduard takes a deep breath. It feels as if it was centuries ago that he was last this close to Tino, although inside he knows it couldn't have been _that_ long. Shakily he exhales as his best friend's digits press against his collar bone, and he looks away, unable to stare into those violet eyes any longer. His mind wanders to Nikolaj, even though his old feelings for Tino were never completely put to rest before.

"I didn't know you were so eager to be a Christian." Tino jerks on the chain, and he frowns, slightly disappointed in the younger man. Their traditions had been so closely knit; he can't bear to think that they only hold merit to him now. Eduard lets out a sigh, furrowing his brows. "I'm not eager. I'm not a Christian." He argues, wondering if the Finn would understand if he was able to share he only wore it because it was a gift.

Humming softly, the blonde lets go of the silver chain. He steps back and crosses his arms over his chest, staring at Eduard in the way only a true friend could, demanding answers with just his impatient gaze. "Just... I can't... ...It wouldn't make any sense, alright, Tino? Even if I told you. You'd still be left curious. So there's no point in sharing." Even as the words leave his mouth he regrets saying them. It isn't a crime to be curious, but the truth is he just wasn't up to answering questions.

"I suppose you can't explain why the Danish flag is hanging at your home, either." To this Eduard lowers his head, sighing as he looks at the space between him and his friend. "How long has it been there?" He's forgotten himself even how long it's been, knowing only that a good handful of seasons have come and gone since it was given to him. His silence only disturbs Tino more. He's not sure what to make of Eduard's quietness, wondering if he came off too strong or something.

"Eduard. Is he making you do all these things?"

At least the question got a reaction out of his friend. Not a very positive one however, as the Estonian brought a hand to his face, hiding half of his face in his hand. He solemnly glances up at Tino, a frown now deep set on his face. "No. Tino... Please. It's complicated..." Dropping his hand again he wraps it back around his torso, sighing softly.

"I thought you hated him..."

"...I hate his people. What they've done.... It's been terrible. And I do hope that it doesn't last forever. But Nikolaj isn't like them."

The statement thoroughly confuses the Finn. There's almost outrage, he feels as if Eduard's being completely ignorant. "He's _exactly_ like them, Eduard." Although he's trying to convince the seventeen year old, it's all falling on deaf ears. "I just think you're doing all these ridiculous things and getting _close_ to him when he's... He's not that good of a person."

Both of them have their own bias, their own opinions, despite how close of friends they are. Tino can't move past feeling pangs of hurt when he sees how the nation who rules over him looks and analyzes everything with sorrow, while Eduard's forgiven the man who rules over him to move forward. The previous Viking age did its damage to both parties and their rulers, some of the atrocities haven been committed then not forgotten yet.

"Tino..."

Eduard begins to speak earnestly, finally.

"There's a lot of frightening things about Berwald, too, but... You gave him a chance. You're my best friend... All I ask is that you give Nikolaj one chance to be with me. If he causes me any pain... You're free to return it to him tenfold." The Finnish boy has his fiery side, the happiness and innocent face always hiding something.

His older, his oldest friend, sighs. Finally, after an extended silence and a sigh, when Eduard looks at Tino again, all the anger is gone. Tino perks himself back up, offering his characteristic smile.

"A hundredfold. Now, let's go back, alright? You can deal with Livonia later."

Finally, Eduard's smile is honest as well.

* * *

So we got to one of the most beautiful locations Estonia has to offer! The island was owned by Livonia at the time, however, hence the mention of him.

Yesss. Estonia had pirates once upon a time!~ Umn. They used to annoy the Danish a lot, impeding the travels of their ships and all. From what I've read, some catagorize them as vikings, but they didn't much run off and pillage and such. Like a pesky mosquito on a giant's arm would be a nice comparison.

And there was once upon a time that Denmark had a fortress on Saaremaa Island. The story of what happened to it.. Well, follow their dialogue.

Kaali Lake used to be a sacred location to the old Estonians, true facts. Lots of old mythology surrounding the place, such as the sun resting there at night. Supposedly, a meteor created the crater, which the crater is what the lake is now.

In Scandinavian mythology, the sun went across the sky because it was being chased.

Tino mentioning Eduard going back to his ~old ways with the lake~... Well, the pagan Estonians.. ...They'd sometimes sacrifice things to it. They also used to sacrifice stones and blood to sacred rocks. One friend I know though always found the idea of chibi!Estonia trying to please a rock amusing though, so, use that to get past the blood and stuff.

Eduard trying to pass off the extra belt as an arm injury.. Back in those days, that's what they did. If an arm was injured they'd use a belt to keep it close to the torso to help evade further injury.

Not happy with the ending much, but... Ohwell. Tino's a softy to friends.

Next story... Well. Angst. We're finally going to enter '_vana hea Rootsi aeg', _everyone. And if you don't speak Estonia and have no idea what that means, either google it, or I'll give you one hint~

Sweden.


	9. Can Not Stop

I don't even know what to say besides thank you to everyone who keeps reading this fic even though I am damn terrible updating it. My love for Estonia has been reignited tenfold lately, so...

This chapter I must admit I don't feel is the greatest quality. It's basically setting up a span of 215 years. I willlll. will. continue. right now. Writing away more. I'm so sorry I'm rusty and ahhh. ;;

* * *

His king was dead.

These things happened all the time. Even if times weren't particularly violent in Scandinavia, Nikolaj had been around long enough to understand that humans didn't live long. The males often lasted longer than the females, but, their lives would usually be cut short by some kind of violence. Times were rather trying enough without a king dying. But suddenly the country was wrapped up in turmoil, panic from the power shift. Now that the king was gone, there was political powers everywhere now fighting it out for the crown...

He spent much of that time looking pale and sickly. The issues of his country affected him as well. When things were bad, his face reflected that, as much as he tried to not let it. There was a certain gaunt look to his cheeks, and circles under his eyes that made him look worn out and desolate. Even though he could keep a smile on his face, he knew he couldn't keep others from noticing that he was worn down.

Nikolaj secluded himself. He abhorred the look of pity and sympathy that people would give him when they saw him like this. It was just much better to stay away from them altogether. There was no such thing as getting comfort in someone's arms.

Eduard never heard it from him directly that he was in trouble. There was something definitely brewing though, part of him could just tell. The other part was getting example enough by the amount of his citizens that were starting to send stirs of rebellion around. He had no idea what was going on with Nikolaj, not even seeing the Dane.

When he was sent small gifts here and there, it was the only thing that made him keep smiling. Even though he couldn't see Nikolaj, the other was still with him in a way. It was just small trinkets here and there, but it was more than enough to keep the ruler in his mind. At least he was still thinking about him.

The last thing that Nikolaj sent was a ring.

A silver band with almost a perfect fit to his finger. When the Danish man, one of Nikolaj's prized henchmen that was paid enough to keep his mouth shut and not ask questions, The teenaged nation immediately slipped it on his right ring finger, with just the hint of a smile on his lips. It was the last smile that he gave for a long time.

It wasn't as if one morning he woke up, and suddenly there were Germans roaming his land. It was true that Eduard liked to stay around Reval, _Nikolaj's _Reval, because the capital of his land was like his heart. It was where he was strongest. But he knew that elsewhere in his country, to the south, there was a pale haired man with red eyes roaming his land still. It became an increasing sight to see them in his capital however, with yellow hair that wasn't quite the same as the Danes he knew, speaking a language that seemed far harsher on the tongue.

Furthermore, the two Northern peoples didn't even get along. It seemed as if they were beginning to divide his own people. Some were supporters of the Danish, even though their presence was becoming increasingly scarce due to the turmoil the kingdom faces. Others favored the Germans, who had been doing much stronger than the Danes.

Whenever he was forced and confronted by his people, due to his status, to stand and listen to everyone's demands and wishes for the future of the country... For _his_ future...

All Eduard would do was fold his hands in front of him, twisting the ring and silently wishing he could be alone.

The fighting erupted not far after. While Nikolaj's land slowly began to build themselves back up, Eduard's only fell to smaller pieces.

He craved the opportunity to show that he could do it on his own. That his own people were more than adequate enough to run a nation. But every day he only got reports back of more people being slaughtered. Lacking any German blood himself, the situation never effected the Baltic's body. What unnerved him more than anything was how viscous it seemed his people had become, calling for the deaths of anyone with German blood. After that goal had been accomplished, it wasn't long after that Reval ceased to be Nikolaj's anymore.

His people had accomplished it, they had forced Denmark away. Now Eduard was more afraid of what was going on. Surely this news would crush Nikolaj, and the German nations would get their revenge.

While Nikolaj had lost his king and gained another, Eduard gained four of them at once.

With so many Germans dead, thousands of them by now, he knew that it would only be a matter of days before someone would demand answers.

And one day, he was called among with his kings to Weissenstein.

* * *

"How dare that ungrateful little brat let anyone lay a finger on your people..."

The Livonian nation hissed under his breath, pacing around the room. To the side, Gilbert was seated, leaning back with a bemused expression. Livonia shared a bond with Eduard that was much like siblings, coming from side by side lands while speaking a variant of the same tongue. Yet while Eduard fought the German ruling and the conversion to Christianity as much as he could, his fellow nation had instead embraced it.

"Livonia. Calm down. Take a seat."

Immediately without question, he followed these orders. They weren't kept waiting for much longer, the doors soon opening as the small load of Estonians trickled in. Their nationsake was right behind them, and Eduard looked more nervous than any of them.

When his people made demands, he tried to stay strong. There was something unsettling about how Gilbert looked, how all of his men around the albino shared the same dark expression. He felt sick to his stomach, finding himself wishing he was under someone's care, _anyone's. _

If Nikolaj had been here, he'd settle this.

It was what Eduard believed. After all, the gleaming sword at the Teutonic knight's side was too intimidating. He could hardly focus on their conversations, his heart beat too loud in his ears. Closing his eyes, he let his mind become a jumbled mess of trying to focus on memories of Nikolaj and Tino, anything to drown out the somber occasion.

"Any German deserves to be killed, even if he's only two feet tall."

The one sentence from one of his own people cut through his mind like a knife.

They were trying to offer him away, trying to appease the Germans one minute before insulting them the next. Eduard swallowed. He wasn't used to these things, and he finally realized that lacking his own independence this whole time had sheltered him from conversations and negotiations like this.

Not long before he could come to his senses, he found a blade pressed to his neck. Opening his eyes and glancing up to see the smirking face of the blonde Baltic, Eduard was too afraid to speak.

"Gilbert said you and your men can return to your quarters. So _get out._"

Scrambling back out of his seat, he looked around. The room had emptied rather quickly it seemed. When shrill laughter cut through the air, he couldn't recall what possessed him to try and run after it. The Livonian was at his heels, quickly following until they reached the courtyard.

The Estonian fell to his knees at the sight. Both dark and bright red blood was covering the grounds, his kings and the people they'd brought violently hacked and torn apart. His previous ill feelings suddenly meant nothing, and now all he wanted to do was throw up. There were limbs in tangled messes against torsos, and faces contorted in such horror he was sure they'd haunt him.

And Gilbert was blood-splattered, a deranged grin on his face as he turned his attention to Eduard. His gleaming sword was dark red, glazed over with blood. Estonian blood, Eduard could quickly realize. The knight order who had followed behind him only looked out at the landscape, nodding in agreement with what his superior had done.

He had a good feeling it wasn't the last bloodbath he'd be seeing.

* * *

Nikolaj had been with Eduard for 127 years.

And from the day his king died, it took only three years until his new one sold away the Estonian's land.

Every night when he laid his head down to sleep, he could so clearly see the Prussian's face as the ownership of the Dane's ward was passed down onto Gilbert's. His sleeping mind was more than happy to fill in the blanks, let him imagine what Eduard would had looked like if he had been there. Each night, it was the same. It all felt unfair to him in a way.

He only had nightmares while he slept.

The Dane was certain that now his poor lover was living in one.

All of the reports he'd heard coming from Estonia had included blood and corpses and political upsets. While he'd been weak himself, he had no opportunity to stop or help him. He just had to figure that these sort of things happened to nations frequently. It was no use spending his time sulking and being angry at his king.

He still had to try to be strong, control the rest of the lands that he still owned. It wasn't easy, and after everything that had gone on, he tried to ignore the Germans to the south and to keep Berwald, Tino, and Eiliv under tight reins.

It took decades and decades, but under the Kalmar Union and his spot above them as their ruler, he slowly began to fall in love again as each day his memories of Eduard faded more and more.

In a way, Eiliv really did remind him of Eduard though. Their soft blonde hair was the same shade, as was their quiet dispositions. The Estonian never seemed as cruel as he knew Eiliv could be, though.

When Berwald took Tino and they left his home, all he thought was good riddance. If he couldn't control Berwald with blood and violence, then the Swede could be unmanageable elsewhere. As the Kalmar Union ended, he was trying to hide from everyone the fact that everything shifting around and changing again bothered him.

But since the Swede had left, he decided to go ahead and take a chance again.

One hundred and ninety years after his personal union with Eduard had come to an end, when he finally managed to regain his strength and life again, he proposed marriage to the Norwegian. It came right after his kingdom had changed, when their kingdoms were to be known as Denmark-Norway.

Eiliv laughed in his face. It crushed him at the time when the pale-skinned man told him that they needn't have anything to do with each other as people just because of their nations. He found it a preposterous idea, to be married with Nikolaj and share a bed with him. It brings him back the memories again, ones that he thought he had been mostly successful at burying.

Feeling lost and virtually alone, the once mighty king of Northern Europe just sat back and observed the rest of the world with a slowly hardening heart.

It had finally come true after all these years.

One day, he woke up, and realized he was left with almost nothing.

* * *

Boring history rambles and explinations.

When one Danish king dieddd, when the land transferred on to the next he eventually made the decision to sell Estonia to the Teutonic Knights and Livonian Order to try and help Denmark regain it's glory.

The thing about Reval, it's the old name for Tallinn that I probably should have been using all along but ahaha. Tallinn actually does mean what many believe is 'city of Denmark'. hence, Nikolaj's city.

While Denmark was going through all the political turmoil, the Estonians and Germans (Germans as a catch-all I'm using for primarily the Prussians and Livonians) both found this a chance to claim the land. They were far and few when Denmark had tight reins on the land but then Estonians became divided between wanting German or Danish rule.

And then after some rebelling Estonia ended up with four different kings lol. At once. They were called to Weissenstein (A location that is now Switzerland) to explain their actions of killing the Germans and be diplomatic envoys pretty much.

Livonia was a country that developed much like Estonia and had close ties to it, but eventually the teachings of the Northern Crusades sunk in with them more and they became more German than Baltic. The Livonian Order was an autonomous branch of the Teutonic Knights.

The quote about any German deserving to be killed was something actually said at the meeting. The event is pretty much St. George's Night Uprising and Denmark kept losing more land during this time and eventually sold off Estonia.

The next chapter deals with Sweden. This time I promise. THE VERY FIRST LINE OF IT IS EVEN HIM SPEAKING SO I CAN DEFINITELY PROMISE IT. ;A;

I'm sorry for this chapter even arghhh. I just... didn't want to write basically 215 years of depression with Estonia under Prussia/Livonia's rule. It was my intent to try and focus more on Denmark. That's all for now ;; and I just realized all through the story, none of my linebreaks ever worked. Holy fuck I'm sorry for the fucked up formatting because of that. I'll just use the stupid regular linebreaks. ;m;


	10. Decisions

What do you mean an update already without months having past between me posting the previous chapter? ;A; I THINK WE'VE FALLEN INTO SOME KIND OF... WEIRD... SPACE TIME THINGY. This chapter is angst angst angst yay.

And to those of you who read and especially Maria-Pipkin who reviewed, thank you. ;w;

* * *

"Förstår du?"

Eduard shook his head slowly.

This man was so daunting and intimidating. Truthfully, he was a glad to be out of Gilbert and the Livonian Order's house. But Berwald made him tremble and shake, regardless of how polite he tried to act. He did miss his eldest brother and Feliks, though. Not only that, but he was forcing him to learn his language.

Swedish felt harsh and foreign on his tongue.

"I..."

"It means 'd'you understand'."

"N-nej."

Whenever Berwald went away, Tino would help him with his lessons. When he was around, Tino was usually off tending to Raivis.

At least he didn't feel tugged all over the place anymore. All of his land belonged to Sweden. He couldn't even remember how many seasons had come and gone since he'd been forced to move into his home.

"Read it again."

Nodding, the Estonian stared down at the open book. His lips stretched into a thin frown, trying to remember precisely all of the strange letters he kept seeing that Berwald had kept teaching him.

Lately the world seemed to be getting blurry to him. Drawing his cloak tightly around his shoulders, he couldn't help but to squint to try and read. He rambled off one of the sentences he read, the words sounding like coins being thrown against stone to him.

"Gettin' better."

The Swede nevertheless complimented him, even though his pronunciation had been terrible. Eduard gave a wavering smile, closing the book in his lap. Still squinting, he looked out ahead at the land. At least so far with Berwald, even though he wasn't an invisible presence like Nikolaj had mostly been, he had slight freedom. The Swede was kind. He was the one who chose outdoors for most of their lessons, and the mild weather was calming and relaxing.

It was better than being stuck cleaning blood out of tunics and off of swords.

His hand clutched the leather cover of the book. Books always made him feel sentimental. At least Berwald never insisted Eduard sit on his lap was how he figured it. Already the mere fact he was reading with the other nation reminded him of Nikolaj.

When a hand touches his shoulder, he looks down, shaking slightly at the large hand of the Swede holding on to him.

"Y'okay?"

He was quick to nod.

"Just a little vertigo..."

Along with the blurriness came the feeling as if he'd been spinning around. It was nothing yet that he couldn't just ignore, and he did try his best to. Staring at the printed black words was making his head hurt, just as he felt his chest tighten from the sudden thoughts about Nikolaj. Tino had told him that they ran away, but he never explained much. He wouldn't tell him about the fights, or how Nikolaj had spent his time, instead insisting that his friend try to keep his thoughts buried like they had been.

"Sure you're okay?"

It was hard to understand him with the mumbled tone that he held. The clearest Eduard heard him spoke was when he'd speak in Swedish, but when he spoke the language uniquely shared by their people he was a mess.

"I will be."

"Eyes hurt?"

The teenaged nation wasn't sure why the older one seemed to care so much. It was too different coming out of the past two relationships he had with former rulers and then to have a ruling nation that seemed sympathetic and caring. Even Nikolaj had terrorized him before they became lovers.

"No, they don't hurt, but..."

He fell silent again, unsure of how to explain it. The hand on his shoulder patted him before leaving it, and Eduard tilted his head up.

The glasses that the Swede always wore in front of his eyes were distracting Eduard. The sun gleamed off them in a very peculiar way, and although he truthfully never knew what the device was for he found himself continuing to stare as Berwald pulled them off of his face. It's now that he can barely make out an intimidating glower on his face as he hands the metal-laced objects to the Estonian.

"Put 'm on."

Eduard frets, nibbling on his bottom lip enough to form a small blister. There's no way to dance around this subject when the other is looking at him, staring with him in a way that vaguely reminds him of all the bosses he was ever afraid of.

So he takes the spectacles, handling them carefully with both hands before sliding them on his face. When he adjusts them on the bridge of his nose, he has to blink a few times but then he can see in clear view the way that Berwald is squinting his own blue eyes to look down at him curiously.

Surprise and enthrallment makes him grin, pleased that now everything appears to him the way he last remembered around a decade ago being.

"Better?"

"It... It is. Thank you, Sweden, so much..."

Grunting in response to the thanks, Berwald began to stand. He waits for Eduard to follow in his lead, grabbing the Estonian's shoulder-even though he can feel the unsteadiness as he does-so he can use him as a guide. He doesn't realize that he's made the younger man flustered or put him through more emotions than he can count on both hands with his little lesson.

"Let's head back now."

Always curt and to the point, Berwald urges the Estonian on.

He only wants to look out for the younger one since he's keen enough to notice that they have some of the same likes. A fondness for books isn't something that much people have, and he appreciates someone who will sit and learn and read from him. The Nordic may not be able to help the fact that he seems to scare him, but he only wants to take care of Eduard because of how much the Baltic teen means to Tino.

With just the right amount of touches here and there and the kindness he never felt from any part rulers before, he's confusing Eduard. Berwald's trying to make a conscience effort to _not_ be anything like Nikolaj, but as Eduard guides him back to their Stockholm home it's only reminiscent of happier times.

* * *

Tino keeps a silver cross on him, and the Estonian feels a pain in his chest every time he sees it. The silver cross that Nikolaj had given him was long ago once ripped from his neck, thrown down onto the ground like it was nothing by one of his own people.

The teenaged nation was scolded repeatedly.

He was supposed to be an embodiment of them, and yet had always felt sympathy towards the Danish for reasons that weren't so obvious to the humans keeping an eye on him.

The flag, he still kept. He never had the audacity to bring something like that along with him to Berwald's home, but it sat folded into a neat square in a wooden box in his home in Tallinn. The ring always stayed right on his finger.

* * *

"Eduard, what's with that?"

Of course it was only a matter of time before Tino would ask. The taller blonde nervously places his other hand over it, fingers idly twisting the band before giving the Finn a reassuring smile. "It's nothing, really." In a way it isn't, just a memory of a faded past that kept him chained back all the time.

Tino gently touches his arm, his hands still damp from cleaning the dishes as they'd been doing. Nudging carefully, he tries to remove the hand covering it.

"Where did you get it from? Why do you wear it?"

The sudden barrage of questions begin to slightly infuriate him. Or maybe it's the lack of sun, his body isn't used to missing the few precious hours through the year that he'd have back in Tallinn full of it. Either way he feels defensive and shakes his head, refusing to answer his friend. Tino did once promise to injure Nikolaj if the man ever hurt him, and Eduard isn't quite sure where centuries of betrayal and emotional wounds comes into that picture.

"You wouldn't be wearing it if it was nothing, Eduard."

The statement is entirely true, but the green-eyed teenager chooses to ignore it still. Maybe if he just waits long enough, Berwald or Raivis will come in and interrupt them and they'll be forced to change the subject.

Instead he pulls his arm away from Tino, reaching for another plate.

His silent hopes of a distraction are never fulfilled before the small Finn grabs his arm again, preventing him from doing anything. There's more strength in that grip than he feels he has, and if Eduard had just laughed off the comment about his ring or had been able to come up with a quick story on the spot he probably wouldn't even be in this situation right now.

"It was a gift."

Mumbling through his lips, he looks down at his friend. Tino's hand finally begins to slowly slink away, his mouth forming a small 'oh' before he quietly returns to his own task.

"From _him._"

There's emotions he can't even read in those large violet eyes, and the Finn suddenly looks tired and a bit older as he quietly listens.

"Before he broke his promises and I don't even know why I've kept the stupid thing. It's strange, isn't it Tino? We're stuck in this world and for what? To sit and suffer through a million more hardships our people do just because we can live who knows how many of their lifespans?"

With a bitter smile, Tino dips a plate down into water again. Rinsing it off, he dries it with a ragged cloth before setting it away. He had honestly expected maybe an interesting story out of the little silver artifact, not anger and a broken heart.

"I don't waste my time wondering about our existence. We're here, so we're here." He murmurs calmly to his younger companion, looking back at him. "Besides. He's not even Danmark anymore, you should forget about him."

The statement was puzzling.

"He's Danmark-Norge. It's been that way... It's been a while since it has been, Eduard, I don't even know how long. It happened after Berwald and I left."

Eduard tried not to let the revelation upset him. As far as he believed, a name was just letters formed together. "Did... He kill Eiliv or something?"

He'd been stuck in his own Teutonic bubble for far too long. He twisted the ring again, silently sliding it from off of his finger. His friend's bitter chuckling makes him bow his head as he slips the ring into his pocket.

"It's more like a marriage from what I've heard."

Two hundreds years, combined with being sold off like a common possession and now seemingly forgotten about as well made his stomach lurch. No wonder the Finn had stayed quiet about Nikolaj's fate, he didn't want to bring Eduard down to realize any of this.

And with it being too late now, he sighed. Heading over to the Estonian, he wrapped his arms around him tenderly. Within the motherly hug, he finally began to break down. Wrapping his own arms around Tino, he clutched on to his shirt as he buried his head down against Tino's shoulder.

"You were too good for him anyways."

There was something inevitably comforting about having arms around him again, but it lacked the true intimacy that he still yearned for.

With all anger, it began to slide into somewhat of a grudge. _It isn't fair._ The Estonian closed his eyes, not even minding as the glasses dug against his face or tears began to dampen them. It wasn't fair and he'd do anything he could to fix it. He wasn't a peasant and his country wasn't something that could just be ignored like that, no matter what empire it belonged to. No matter what empire _he_ belonged to. Even though Berwald had gained him by conquering, it was just a matter of time before he either made a misguided promise like Nikolaj or just straight out sold him.

Like Nikolaj.

Pulling away from the Finn, he huffed through the reddened flush on his cheeks. Looking to the side, his hands slowly began to release the other.

"He.. He had no right to do this..."

After yanking out of the grip, he turned on his heels. Taking off his glasses and cleaning them against his tunic, Tino stood wordlessly behind him. He watched as the other, the man he'd come to consider like a brother, begin to walk away without knowing _what_ to say.

"O-of course he didn't, but Eduard..."

He set the glasses back on his face, ignoring Tino as he walked out of the kitchen and into the hall. His hands balled into a fist, he didn't figure it'd take too much to get packed up.

"Eduard! Where are you going?"

The platinum blonde was soon at his heels, and he didn't even acknowledge him by looking at him. There was too much on his mind as he grumbled, uttering a single response.

"Copenhagen."

"You can't!"

It was then that he stopped, resisting the urge to lash out at the other as the small hand gripped his sleeve.

"Why? Or should I be going to Oslo instead? Tell me where he lives because I'll gladly go to the farthest edge of the world so I can throw the damn ring back in his face!"

"Anger is _not_ the way to deal with this." The words said in his tone certainly didn't help, and he bit his tongue from saying anything that could possibly damage their friendship. "Berwald would never _allow_ you to go to Copenhagen."

"Berwald is not _here."f_

"The second he gets back he'll come after you! Letting one of his wards run off to his enemy is just begging for more war. You can't, please... Just forget him. Things would be better off that way."

He can feel the tears at the corners of his eyes again, his face twisting to a scowl.

"I loved him."

Tino lets go of him, a small sigh leaving his lips. It wasn't something that he could easily relate to. No matter how many times Berwald referred to him as his wife, there was no way that he felt he was in love with the Swede like one _would_ love a husband.

"I've still loved him all these _years._"

Eduard fumbles as he reaches a hand up to tilt up the glasses, messily rubbing at his eye. He feels stupid and childish now, but he can't help from trying to explain himself so maybe he'd have Tino's blessings on leaving.

"Never even got to say goodbye to him... To ask him why..."

"He couldn't help it." The Finn doesn't even know why he's trying to defend that drunkard bastard, but he hopes it'd help Eduard to just hear it. "None of us run our countries. You _know_ this. So please..." The pleading finally seems to set in, and it's finally sunk in that maybe setting out in the evening for a trip to another country that was entirely unplanned isn't the best of ideas.

Maybe it was better to just get rid of the ring and bury all the feelings again.

"Brālis?..."

Before either of them can speak up again, a small voice from behind them does. They both turn to look, and Eduard lets his glasses settle back down on his nose as he notices the small Latvian looking at him quizzically.

"Raivis? Why are you out of bed?"

The usually trembling little boy appears more frightened than usual, and he's nearly swimming in one of his brother's old tunics that he uses as a night gown. When the Estonian steps closer, he shakes harder, tears brimming in his eyes.

"Bad dream..."

It had been this way for a while. Since Gilbert and the Livonian had once conspired to tell him a particularly frightening tale about a creature that causes torments upon people as they sleep, Raivis was riddled with nightmares.

"Eduard, go ahead and take care of Raivis. I'll finish the dishes."

Nodding, he took a hold of the Latvian's hand. As he sniffled slightly, trying to calm down and seem stronger and stable for Raivis, he wondered if just maybe there were enough distractions in Stockholm to finally make him forget Nikolaj.

* * *

the end.

no, I'm joking of course \o/

I'm sorry I suck at Sweden's speech. He's my second favorite character but I've never mastered that. ;;;

'Brālis', by the way, is a Latvian word for 'brother'.

Sorry to slide what seemed like a bit of onesided Sweden/Estonia in but looking back historically Estonia did seem to develop a crush on Sweden. It was referred to as 'the good old Swedish times' although this came during Russian rules. There will be Denmark next chapter again andddd the year will be. 1632. Cookies if you can figure out why that has relevance.


	11. Wanted

"What are you doing here?"

The voice brought a chill down the Swede's spine. It had been so long since he had heard it, and though he'd never allow the emotion to show on his face, it brought him slight fear. His hand reached for his sword, fingers gripping the hilt as he readied himself if he needed to draw it.

Turning around, he met face to face with Denmark.

"Could ask ya th'same."

A small, albeit cruel-looking grin places itself right on Nikolaj's lips. His eyes look around, focused and smug, before he settles back down on the other Nordic. "I heard..." He muses, his voice ever playful and cynical. "That you were trying to be like me. Picking up my trash."

He wouldn't speak this way about Tartu, about Eduard's land, to anyone but Berwald. Just because he heard that Sweden had gained control of Estonia and a school was being erected here didn't mean he meant to run right into Berwald. But he continued to stare calmly with bright blue eyes at the other man, his wayward former ward.

"M'not like you." His voice is almost a growl, his pearl-white teeth snarling as a warning. Berwald doesn't know why the other nation is here right now but he knows he wants him _out._ This land was his and his people's, and Nikolaj should lay down and accept that. The inevitable truth was just that such a thing wasn't in the Dane's vocabulary.

At least on their fateful meeting it's a nice day out, and Nikolaj steps away from the other enough to seat himself on a small bench. The warm late summer breeze caresses his skin, and he rests his elbow on his knee and his chin in his hand. Berwald's defensive position never falters even though it doesn't appear the Aryan man even brought any weapons.

Feeling the weight of the dagger that's tucked in his belt with his cloak shielding it from view against his ribs as he speaks, Nikolaj closes his eyes.

"You run away and decide you're some big and bad empire using all the countries mine got rid of. I don't care how much you beat on Gilbert, Roderich, or any of them. If I was in your seat again, all of Europe would already be mine."

It's big talk for a man who has lost so much over the years, but when he opens his eyes and his lips turn up in a dangerous looking grin, Berwald feels as if he knows what he's speaking of. There was still so much the Swedish Empire could do, that _he_ could do. If there was one thing—no matter what name his country held—that Nikolaj was good at, it was inciting feelings of fight or flight in everyone he looked at.

"'less you're lookin' t'fight, go _away._"

Too late did he realize part of the reason why Nikolaj looked slightly _deranged. _ It was the lack of sleep that showed in dark circles under his eyes, the way he looked like he hadn't gone for a meal in days... Clearly now, he was a man obsessed about something.

"I came to see Eduard. I'm not going anywhere until I do."

Already feeling as if he had no choice, the Swede drew his sword. The metal gleamed brightly in the sun as he pointed it down at the other man, whose eyes slowly grew wide in amusement. Nikolaj leaned back, resting his arms back against the bench. A sword couldn't faze him after he'd spent weeks writhing in guilt at night and burdened with the revelation of Eduard's fate.

Even if he couldn't have the Estonian now, even if they were never together again, he couldn't let _Berwald _of all people be the one to own him.

"Think your little macho display is going to help you any?"

Standing his ground, he grit his teeth. His hand was gripping the hilt so hard he was afraid that any second it'd start to shake.

"You're invadin'. I advise you to _go._"

"Invading!" Nikolaj laughed heavily at the word, tilting his head back in absolute glee. Eyes turned up to the bright and clear blue sky, he spoke through gritted teeth.

"Me and what army? I'm just here to enjoy the scenery and you're ruining my vacation." When he turned back to the Swede, it seemed for a moment as if he truly meant what he said. But Berwald could easily see past his façade, still feeling threatened as if Nikolaj had brought along every Dane with him to steal _his_ land.

"_Go."_

With a sigh, Nikolaj began to get back up on his feet. With a slight shrug, he took one glance up at the sky that he had long ago decided he loved seeing above this country.

"Well, I guess you're right. He's yours now. No reason for me to come in between that."

Berwald finally relaxes his guard a bit as Nikolaj began to walk. He briskly straightened his back as the Dane brushed against his shoulder, glancing back behind as he continued walking away.

Lowering the sword, he took a deep breath. At least that would be the end of that little nightmare. He'd have to make sure Nikolaj hadn't been going around harassing or scaring any of the Baltic nation's people, but it'd hopefully be the last time in a long while he'd see the fallen king of Nordics.

Just around the same time that Berwald realized it had been a bit too easy, a hand was wrapped around his wrist in a bone-crushing grip as another held a knife to his throat from behind.

"I _hate_," Nikolaj hissed, twisting the other man's wrist until he dropped the sword onto the ground finally, "hate hate _hate_ hearing I can't do what I want." The man in his grip was too alarmed to even breath, his mind simultaneously scolding himself and trying to figure a way out of this. "Now, you can let me stay here until I get to see Eduard, or you can suffer a slit neck. I know it won't kill you but God be damned, I know it'll hurt like _Hell._"

There was no way he'd let an enemy stay in his territories. An injury seemed like a minor thing to pay to get Nikolaj to leave, since he had no idea why that out of all places, the Dane would still be caring about such a small pitiful place.

His pride was laced with jealousy, a part of him loathing the fact Nikolaj didn't seem to be back to try and reclaim _him._

"I _will_ get to speak to him."

To tell Eduard that it wasn't his fault. It was all that damned king, the one who later went and groveled for forgiveness at the feet of the Pope for his transgressions, that he was forced away from someone he still wished he could have been with up to this very day.

"So what will it be?"

"Nikolaj?"

The next voice to speak wasn't from the Swede.

It was such an airy and familiar tone that it made him turn around quickly, just in time to give Eduard the sight of the dagger pressing too close against Berwald's neck, a small spray of dark red liquid shattering the air before the Swede pushes away. The cut is shallow, and he immediately pressed his own cloak up against it.

Staring in disbelief at each other, the Dane drops the knife as he watches Eduard take a moment before going to rush to Berwald's side.

In even more of a frenzy than the injured blonde is, the Estonian tries to help apply some pressure to his neck. Everything seems so unreal to him, especially as he looks back with an angered glare at his old lover. He can barely believe that Nikolaj is really there, much less that he just injured Berwald.

"Berwald," He murmurs as he turns back to the other man, "Berwald, are you okay?"

The bleeding has already almost ceased.

Nikolaj just lets his dagger fall.

* * *

"What do you think you were doing?"

Eduard's voice is calm, even if his anger did show clearly on his face. They hadn't spoken a word to each other the entire time Nikolaj had followed him back to where he was busy staying in the city. Now that Berwald was bandaged and resting in the other room the younger nation decided to stir up a conversation, to try and find an answer.

Nikolaj is a bit too focused on everything else in the room but the Estonian. There's books just about everywhere, and other than that it was quite bare. He noted with a bitter tone that the language across the spine of them was in Swedish, just like he couldn't ignore the glasses on Eduard's face.

"You're wearing his clothes, using his language, hell, you even look like him! What are you, an extension of him!"

"Is that all I was when I was with you?"

He missed the other man's quick comebacks and the look of fire calmly behind his eyes. When he inspects the other he notices with a bit of sentimental quality behind it that the other man has even grown a few centimeters.

"No. But that was when you were with _me._ Not with him. He changes things."

Shaking his head, Eduard quietly makes his way to the table. He runs his fingers along the books, conflicted so much by the Dane's appearance here in Tartu. It was supposed to be nothing but excitement and happiness, after all..

"He's not that bad! We're even here because he just built a university for me! Do you understand how big this is for me? Why did you come here, just to ruin it?"

He was starting to feel shaky and frantic, and he stepped away from the table to head to the window. Gripping the windowsill, he tried to calm himself down.

"_You _never did anything like that for me."

As his fingers curled into a fist, the Dane quietly walked up alongside the other.

"I wasn't aware I had to barter my way into your life."

All the words that the Dane wanted to come here and say, he's messing them up. It's as simple as that, because he can see the hurt and confusion in the green eyes he once remarked so often that he loved. Even if they _are_ hidden behind glass, they're still the same and he hates seeing those emotions.

"You didn't. But you didn't have to leave me the way that you did either."

Nikolaj reaches out and grabs him, both hands roughly planting into his shoulders as he forces the Estonian boy to look at him. He can see the wince, he can tell his hands hurt, but part of him doesn't care.

"I didn't _want_ to. I had no choice."

Looking away, Eduard realizes that in a way, he knows the Dane's words are true. The fingers curl against his sleeve, and he can't bare to face the pleading look he knows Nikolaj has.

"I still have Øsel..."

"Saaremaa?" He murmurs the word softly, finally looking at his old lover's bright blue eyes. Nikolaj nods in fervor, and even though he can feel Eduard relax he only gets more frantic.

"Livonia sold it to me. Every time I went to that lake I hoped to God that I'd see you there, I didn't know that Berwald made you fucking move to _Stockholm.__.._ If it was my decision, you wouldn't be in his house at all!"

"And Denmark-Norway?..."

Although if Eduard had right out asked if he ever had feelings for Eiliv, he'd be unable to say no, he can speak still with certainty as he rests his lips against the other nation's forehead.

"It's political."

Biting down on his bottom lip he suddenly embraces the Dane, tight and roughly, hiding his face down against his collarbone. It's something that he's needed for decades, that they both have gone without for too long.

"I missed you."

Those three little words at the moment meant as much as any proclamation of love or plead for forgiveness could.

* * *

Relatively short chapter, my apologies D8

Notes~  
The comment Denmark makes to Sweden about him beating on Gilbert and Roderich refers to many successful campaigns Sweden had against the Holy Roman Empire. \o/  
The university of Tartu was founded in 1632 and was one of the first universities of the Nordic areas (one in Sweden was first, and Sweden actually erected a university in Estonia before they gave Finland one). My headcanon actually is that Estonia's glasses represent the university of Tartu. :'D

Livonia did sell the island of Saaremaa (Øsel in Danish) back to Denmark in 1559.  
The reason why Eduard lives in Stockholm instead is because Hetalia canon made it pretty established he was in Berwald's house.

Until next timeeee~


	12. Along

"You know, Berwald didn't like hearing that you wanted to stay longer."

Eduard was unsure what made him murmur that comment as he lay resting against the Dane's chest. While embracing each other under the blankets of Eduard's bed, the faint moonlight outside cast across their faces. Naked and tired and too content to really care, Nikolaj chuckled as he pressed his lips to the other man's bare shoulder.

"It's your home, it's your call."

His eyes flicking up to look at Nikolaj's, he shook his head.

"You... you're not used to having to listen to others. But this is the way things work when you have to... If he told ma to get you to leave, you'd be gone. He's actually... being gracious... He has ever right to have you kicked out. All the warring and fighting you two have done together..."

Too stubborn to want to acknowledge that, the Dane kissed the clammy skin again.

"You don't belong to him."

"I _do._"

Arms still firmly wrapped around the Estonian's waist, the older nation chewed carefully on his bottom lip for a moment. Maybe if he could talk to his boss...

Over the so many decades of being alone, the two _centuries, _even his lover could tell Eduard had matured and was stuck being a bit bitter over the years. But he wouldn't have to worry about that much longer, Nikolaj hoped.

"Have you fucked him?"

Entirely taken by surprise, his eyes grew wide at the rather crude question. Berwald had _never_ laid a hand on him in that way, how could Nikolaj even suggest...

"Is he better than me? Is that it?"

It caused him to pull away from the Dane, his face reddened in anger. There was no way that he was going to let Nikolaj get away with asking terribly things like that, as if he was accusing him of having done something. Even though Nikolaj's hands still tried to reach and hold him, he scooted away from him on the bed.

"You're kidding me, right?

His facial expression didn't change in the least bit. Eduard found himself growing increasingly annoyed, wondering why he had to go and ruin such a nice moment.

"I wouldn't... I wouldn't ever have anyone besides you. Who do you take me for?" The Estonian grumbled, hurt by the statement. His body wasn't as mature as the other man's still, and just because he _was_ more or less a bumbling mess of teenage hormones didn't mean he'd have anyone else.

"What else am I supposed to think?"

Eduard shakes his head, partially in disbelief and partially in anguish. Grabbing his pillow, he turns away from Nikolaj so he can bury his face against it and grumble more in peace. There's quite a bit of silence and trying to ignore the sticky residue he's been rolling all over the bed, but in the morning sheets can be washed and he can tell Nikolaj how much of a jerk he is in the daylight.

"You're supposed to _trust_ me."

It takes him a few moments, but the Dane turns on his side as well and wraps his arms around the lithe body beside him. Leaning down and resting his chin on Eduard's shoulder, closing his eyes. Pressing another kiss to his shoulder, trying to calm him back down.

"Just... The way you always fuckin' talk about him. The way you seem to like him... Like you're okay that he has you..."

Eduard shakes his head, relaxing slowly in his arms. As much as the questions offended him, it feels too nice to be in his arms. He still finds Sweden to be a nice man, no matter what Nikolaj says or thinks about him.

"I do trust you, Eduard. If you say you didn't... then I do believe you."

Giving a small nod into the pillow, he didn't make much of a move to turn back to the Dane. With a small sigh, he finally calmed down enough to forgive the other. Having his trust is a nice thing, and he leans back into Nikolaj.

"I think.. for right now at least, things are fine."

His attempt at reassurance doesn't really mean much to Nikolaj, but the blue-eyed nation tries to believe him as he says it's okay.

* * *

Denmark only visits here and there, never often and never for long.

In his own defense, he does have a lot of things back home to work on. As a nation, one as involved as he is instead of just letting everyone else run him indefinitely, there's an endless list of things that need done. He's usually involved in it all, and as much as he'd like to reign over Estonia again, it's just not going to happen anytime soon as far as he sees it.

His fingers idly trace over his bare abdomen, faintly able to feel a long forgotten scar marring it. It's all that he has to do to remember Eduard, and that's good enough when the days are long and lonely.

Eiliv doesn't even act as if anything has changed, not that he cares much to bother the Dane. Nikolaj tries to act as if everything is the same and he never visited Stockholm, but he wonders often if Berwald mentioned it since there's just a tinge of extra coldness in the Norwegian man's eyes.

Still, he bothers him every day and keeps a smile on his face since he's become well known for his smiles. Eiliv shoots him down all the same every single day, and even though he knows he has Eduard to always look forward to, it hurts a bit to think that Norway actually dislikes him.

One day when he returns to Sweden, he tries to surprise the younger man. However when he sneaks into his house, he's only angered beyond belief when he comes upon Eduard reciting Swedish out of a book.

He didn't say a word, just immediately backed out and left.

The thought of going to Berwald and yelling at him or just doing something crosses his mind, but he realizes that it wouldn't help. If anything, the Swede would just leech off of his anger and realize he can bring the Dane to his knees just by trying to encourage and force the other blonde to embrace more Swedish culture.

Next time he visits, he brings some Danish books.

Figuring it's a better approach, he presents them to Eduard while taking him on a walk along the Norrström. The Estonian finds the old books to be a touching sentiment and hugs them close to his chest, muttering softly as he does.

"Thank you..."

Smiling, he wraps an arm around his companion's shoulders. He holds him close and coddles him for just a moment, trying to remember a time when they were both together like this all the time.

There's other things on Eduard's mind though, like worrying about Berwald. He has been speaking in hushed whispers lately with his court, and Nikolaj doesn't want to worry Eduard by bringing it up but he knows full well what's going on.

This will be the last time he sees the Estonian until the war starts, everything goes as it should and he helps lay siege to Tallinn. It's why he's trying so hard to act normal even though he was so angry last time, he doesn't want to tip anyone off onto the upcoming things they've planned.

Nikolaj grins as he nuzzles against the lithe blonde's neck. Soon, he'll help make sure that Sweden's empire falls entirely. When he does, he will make certain that Eduard falls to him and not to Ivan, if they do gain the Russian's support. Even if Ivan takes Ingria and Livonia, he can_ have_ everything else, as long as it isn't Estonia.

The affection and the sentimental things going on, it's a bit out of character for his normal attitude. He's just happy, a bit too happy, because he feels confident that he can come out confident in the impending war. He'll move Eduard back into his house before long, and then he won't have to get used to these trips where every Swede stares disdainfully at him.

They're all still so bitter about the Scanian War, and in truth, he is as well. You can't just lose such a large part of yourself and feel nothing, but he tries to suppress the phantom pains from losing Lund among others. His happiness is only kept up by knowing that the Estonian had no part in it, and didn't have to see the devastating battles and the way he was forced to submit to Berwald.

He's certain though, that the treaty he signed in Preobrazhenskoye with the others will be fruitful. When Eduard carefully peels away from him and kisses the tip of his nose, Nikolaj only grins wider.

For just a moment, he almost wants to ask the Estonian's permission. To ask and see if he'd even be okay without Sweden, but there's the slight chance he'll say no and run and tell Berwald that the Dane was acting suspicious.

Instead he holds his tongue, if just for this once. Nothing will ruin this moment for him, for _them_, and he just admires the orange and red glow against Eduard's skin from the setting sun.

* * *

Anyone would be crazy not to shrink away from that glare the Swede is fond of giving. Eduard is no different, and he pulls away from Berwald and gives just the slightest whimper before he feels his back hitting against the wall.

"Did y'know he was plannin' _that_?"

Eduard's not sure on whether he's referring to Tönning or even Riga, but there's two equally intimidating nations behind him as well and it's not helping the blonde's anxiety. The British Empire looks bored yet regal, while the Netherlands only looks uncaring and bored. Tino had been around, yet barred from the room, while the Estonian had instead been shoved inside.

"P-planning what..."

The response to his question is a swift slap to the face, and he's suddenly relieved he was already with his back to the wall since it allows him to steady himself and stop from reeling onto the floor. Looking back at Berwald with shocked eyes and askew glasses, he's too absolutely phased to say anything else.

"Nikolaj! Y'knew he was going to-"

"Don't bloody kill the kid. His military is your military, do you really think that he had any part in it?"

Taking the moment as the Briton speaks to shakily adjusts his glasses and nurse his hurt face by rubbing the red mark, the thing that hurt him worse than the slap was hearing _that_ name.

"Y'don't get it. They're _lovers._ He had t'know-"

"Lovers?"

The brunette next to Arthur scoffs, barely concealing a laugh. Eduard only glances over at him submissively, feeling foolish enough as it is already. Arthur on the other hand may be a romantic at heart, but isn't quite as sure where he stands on other nations.

"Y'r comin' t'Traventhal with me."

Berwald's voice is low and commanding, and he feels he has no choice other than to just nod in agreement.

* * *

"We want you to stop this foolishness with Holstein-Gottorp."

There's not many words a man can say with a sword pressed to his throat, but Nikolaj is no ordinary man and he tries to look like it doesn't phase him in the least as he kneels in front of Berwald. A smirk is on his lips as always, and he speaks without any caution to the blade at his neck.

It's almost 1701 already, and he has to try to not look like a man forced to submit by another. After all, Eduard's watching silently, beads of sweat on his forehead.

"I want you to go fuck yourself."

Berwald moved the sword up, nudging Nikolaj under the chin with the edge. He looks defiant and confident, even with Eiliv behind him looking unnerved.

"Aw, come on! Lighten up a bit!"

He tilts his head from side to side, eyes resting on the stoic expressions of everyone in the room. With his capital threatened, there's no real motion behind his words, and the Dane's just going through the act of trying to seem like his usual self.

Gritting his teeth in a grin as he looks over at the Netherlands, wondering how his old ally could have sunk so far to have helped Sweden capture him, his gaze changes to England and he can't even think of what he did to piss the Briton off. To Eduard, he tries to give a small nod, a small hint of reassurance.

On the inside, he's entirely devastated that the didn't even get down as far as Tallinn. Even Saxony wasn't much help to him, unable to capture but a single Livonian establishment. Ivan had done nothing so far, and slowly his mood was coming down to a halt.

"...Y're goin' t'sign the treaty."

Nikolaj's grin slowly fades, and he purses his lips sourly before looking up at the Swede. Ready to spew another insult, he's saved by a mere second by his better-grounded half.

"We'll do it."

The Norwegian takes a few steps closer, resting his hand down on top of Sweden's. Slowly and carefully guiding his hand to move the sword away, Berwald allows him to.

He trusts Eiliv and everyone else, it's only the man on the floor that he doesn't.

"Good."

Behind them, Arthur rolls his eyes. He's a bit impatient when it comes to the Nordics' nonsense, and he crosses his arms quite plainly over his chest. "Well." He stands as straight as always, his posture still and regal. "Put the sword away already. You can't take him on your own, and none of us are going to help you _annex _him, much less_ kill_ him. So must you keep making an arse of yourself?"

With a tinge of spiked anger, the Swede returns his sword to the sheath quietly. He turns on his heels, away from Denmark-Norway, and walks away to where the table sits. Nikolaj looks down to the ground, a bitter look in his eyes with the died out grin on his face.

Even though Eduard knows the Netherlands or the British empire won't exactly like it, he still rushes towards Nikolaj as soon as the Swede is far enough away. Eiliv doesn't even say a word to him, wandering off to join Berwald as well with a deadpan expression.

"Nikolaj... Nikolaj, are you okay?"

Placing a hand on his neck, he can feel there's just a smidgen of blood under his chin. It's nothing that much of a deal for a nation, but any hint of blood just makes him worry more. The Dane fails to react favorably though, pulling away and turning away from his lover.

Nobody likes to admit failure, and he'd put more on the line than just taking over Sweden. His country might not have been, but _he_ was hellbent on getting Estonia back as it had been before his king sold it so many, many years ago.

"Just... Just don't. You better go catch up with Berwald. That way, you two can decide the best way to fuck me over together."

Looking down at his own hand, lightly rubbing his two bloodied fingers together, Eduard frowns deeply. Leaning in closer, he wraps both arms around the Dane's shoulders, only a small murmur coming from his lips.

"Shush... I love you."

Turning back to Eduard, his face softens as he sighs.

Returning the embrace, he feels their closeness for the last time for yet another long time.

* * *

history notesss.

YES. finally. we.. reach 1701. and some before that. but basically this chapter is 1698-1701.

The treaty of Preobrazhenskoye (current location in Moscow) was between Saxony, Russia, Denmark, and Poland-Lithuania to basically crush and take over the Swedish Empire. They were basically.. teaming up over hatred of Sweden. the enemy of my enemy is my friend, yknow?

The Scanian War is mentioned in passing here as well. Basically, Denmark lost by a ton and had a bunch of land taken from him. IDK, google the battle of Lund and that's basically the tone of it the entire war. I really like learning about the Scanian War, but instead, decided to focus on the Great Northern War. Afterall, the Scanian War didn't.. really involve Estonia. so. point is moot.

Tönning was laid siege to during the start of the Great Northern War. Riga.. a bit too. Saxony kept trying to take it over.

The British Empire and the Netherlands both helped Sweden get Copenhagen cornered and threatened, but they wouldn't allow Sweden to annex or take any part of Denmark. They just wanted peace. The reason for the slight bit of betrayal is the Netherlands was Denmark's closest ally during the Scanian War, although that was mainly due to their hatred of the French, who were Sweden's closest ally.

At the point in time for the treaty of Travendal, Saxony had only managed to capture a tiny bit of Livonia. very miniscule. They failed at capturing Riga thus far.

NEXT CHAPTERS. 100% MORE RUSSIA.

God I'm a failure for taking so long with this. ||OTL


	13. silence

Eduard now lives in his own home at least, tucked away in Tallinn and not safe at all because he knows there is Russian forces surrounding and occupying his home, just as they had managed to do the same to his brother in the south. He curls up tighter in his bed, coughing and clinging to the blankets he feels a burning sting in his lungs. Pain clearly etched across his face, he can't even bother to be thankful that he's not yet living with the violet-eyed Russian. ,

Something is burning, and he feels it not only on the inside but his fingertips are red and raw with burns. He blames Ivan, Ivan must be up to _something_, and his coast is in danger and he can feel almost everything. There's nothing he can do though, other than hope that the flames stop soon.

Miles and miles away, Nikolaj is just glad to be back in the war, and he's allied and made treaties with everyone who equally hates Sweden. He's only just learning about how everything has gone on without him, and knowing that Eduard is in Ivan's hands is knowing that Eduard is within his reach at least.

That's when he learns what Sweden is doing, acting like a child and launching attacks against Estonia because he figures if he can't have it, neither can Ivan or anyone else. His navy sets to burning places along the coasts, and it only gets the Dane's blood running hotter as well.

No matter how many times Nikolaj tries to coax Ivan over the next decade, helping him in every way possible that he can and giving his livelihood to the other nation, he faces the sting of betrayal. He's alongside Eiliv and watching Ivan with hatred in Nystad, loathing the fact that they're on Swedish ground with every last bone in his body. The Russian hasn't even allowed Eduard to be a participant in this, nor his brother, even though it's them that he's formally receiving now. He's kept them in silence and as far from Berwald the past decade as he could.

The only reason that Nikolaj bites his tongue is because as a nation, as something that stands for more than just a person, he's not nearly as human as he once thought he was. He doesn't want to seem foolish for his feelings of love that no one else seems to understand.

* * *

"You're going to live with me now, little Eesti."

He bristles at the almost pet name tacked on to the end, refusing to look up from behind his glasses until the Russian tilts his chin up. Even then, he's just pouting with a cold stare.

"Is that not your correct name?"

If he wasn't so petrified, perhaps he would have stepped away, but Ivan is taller than him and it helps in his favor to intimidate the Baltic. He only grips his chin harder when he receives no response at first, and Eduard can feel the hair on the back of his neck stand up as he tries not to tremble.

"My name is Eduard."

The teenaged nation is stubborn, but a quick slap to the face makes shock overcome his other senses. It's the first step to dehumanizing him, making him feel as if he is nothing but a ward to serve the now great Russian Empire. Eventually in his plans, there won't even be an _Eduard_ or _Estonia_ left, just the Russian Empire and the empire _only._

"Your name is what I tell you it will be. I'm very in favor of what my tsar, your _owner_, picked out for you. My Governorate of Reval.."

Immediately the Estonian hates it, and he takes a step back from the larger man. Biting down on his bottom lip, he turns his head away and refuses to look back with a defiance to his expression. His name is not Reval, and to him it never will be Reval. There's no way that he's going to allow the Estonian to do this to him, and he's just going to keep fighting anything he says.

He just doesn't yet realize how long he'll actually be doing it.

"Thank you, Ivan. Really. But my name is _not_ Reval, if you want, you had it right the first time, actually."

"Have you been to Saint Petersburg, _Reval?"_

"I don't believe that I ever have, no." He collected himself in calming breaths, reaching a hand up to his own face to rub at the still slightly reddened skin. Ivan notices how the Baltic's fingers are marred with strange scars, ones that he never even was aware happened. Grabbing his hand abruptly, the Russian pulled his hand forward, looking carefully over the thin white scars that seem to not even have a pattern.

"You will like it there. Your brother is there, and it won't be too long before the other two join him and you there as well."

Ivan seemed so confident in his words, and the staring just made Eduard more nervous. Chewing on the inside of his lip bitterly, he tried to get used to the idea that he'd have to just be a part of another empire.

"It's... in Ingria, isn't it?"

"...It happens to be in Russia, now." He let go of the Estonian's hand, finding himself losing interest after enough inspecting. Eduard was worried when he thought of being that far away, and already he could feel homesick and it was then that it hit him, how far away he'd be from Nikolaj if he _did_ go. If only he had a choice, but the loneliness and fear he felt right then was gnawing away at him.

"It will not be a bad thing, Reval. I know that you love your family, and that's why you're worried, yes? I don't want to break your family, though. I have a family too, they live with me as well..." When Ivan thought of his sisters, he couldn't help but to smile. Perhaps if he showed Eduard kindness, and how much alike they were, he'd be a much willing participant of his empire. Already forgetting his previous hostility towards the other, he patted the top of the spectacled teens' hair.

"There is Natalia and Yekaterina, and I'm sure you will get along with both of them very well."

If only the Russian knew how different and alienated he was from his brothers anyways, he wouldn't have tried to be so sympathetic. Eduard just nodded, though he vaguely recalled meeting both of them while with Berwald and hadn't had very good impressions of either. Whichever one of them he met first had been rather cold to the both of them, and the second, who did bare quite a resemblance to Ivan, hadn't even struck Eduard as being a fellow nation until she had introduced herself.

"How long do I get to stay here?"

"Hm... I have to give you a little while, at least, to take care of your things... No longer than a few days. After all, I'm being gracious to you, allowing you entrance into my home..."

With bitterness, Estonia didn't really think the situation could be called _gracious_ at all.

* * *

"Berwald, _please,_ you have to help me."

Initially the Swede had been shocked to see the blonde nation crawl on his doorstep, but he brushed off the surprise quickly. Tino had probably helped him, _that_ wouldn't have been too surprising, but he couldn't do much other than cross his arms and wearily stare.

"Can't do anythin'."

Reaching out and grabbing his arm, the Estonian continued to pleadingly look at him. He needed someone with more means than he had, someone who could easily get in touch with Nikolaj. The stronger nation is unmoving at such a request, and too shaken and broken on his own to bother with helping anyone else.

"Please! Please, Ivan is going to keep me away from anyone, and-"

"What'd he say t'you?"

"That... that I could keep things how they are in my land, but he wants _me_ to live with _him, _and that there is no Estonia, just his empire, and Berwald, please, I'll never see Nikolaj again unless-"

"Can't help you."

The Estonian's shoulders dropped, and he stared at him with his mouth slightly open. He held on to the larger man with his other hand as well, trying to remain as calm and composed as he could in the situation.

"Sweden—_Berwald,_please, I never...I never asked you for anything. Not once."

"Asked me t'let that Dane in m'_home_, 'n who knows, y'probably put the idea in his head with th'war t'fight against me..."

"Berwald, no... I never would have done that! Please... It's over now at least, right? You never have to see Nikolaj again, I promise, I'm just asking you to help me see him, just _once_."

Although he could almost feel bad for Eduard, he kept his position and shook his head. He wouldn't do anything to risk getting Ivan upset again, since the other had proven himself as quite a formidable adversary, and besides, he owed nothing to the either of them and there was plenty still to be upset about himself.

"Please!"

"Can't do anythin'."

"I'm asking you as a _friend, _Berwald, I-"

"Nej."

The Estonian closed his eyes, reaching out to grab a hold of the Swede's hand. Before he could really stop and think about him, he was on his knees. Clutching onto his hand, he just grabbed and held onto him like a last lifeline. He tilted his head forward, tugging on the stronger man.

"J-just _once_, just one last time, please, help me..."

He rested his cheek against the cold hand, wishing that he could do anything in the world other than go live with Ivan. There was just too much about the Russian that made him feel uncomfortable, and didn't want to get used to having to be with anyone else for as long as he lived. Just this once he resorted to begging and pleading, and it does nothing for him because the Swede of all people just won't be moved.

"Does Ivan know y'r here?"

Letting go of the hand and slinking back, again he gets the same feeling that people will be asking that of him for quite a while. With all the immediate anger and resentment he feels towards the Russian, he can't even bring himself to respond any longer.

* * *

"And this, Reval, is where you and your brother shall be staying. Try to get settled in, yes?"

Eduard smiled bitterly, holding one of his bags close to his chest. From living so often with others, he didn't have very many possessions of his own besides clothing. With every new kingdom he became a part of came a new language, so no books; a new culture, so only things that were close and dear to him about his own.

He doesn't even turn his head back to acknowledge Ivan as the older man leaves, stuck instead beside his brother that he's warred with plenty of times before.

"Don't even look at me, you idiot, this is your fault."

Of course Eduard immediately looks at him, noting that the Livonian is teeming with a lot more anger than he is. Being your own land and having a close alliance with another is what he was used to, not the past burden of Sweden and now Russia's rule.

He pushed his blonde bangs—all the Baltics, they may not be brothers of true blood but he's never cared to notice enough about Livonia that their hair shares the same color-back from his own forehead, staring at the barren room before taking the first few steps forward to sit on the edge of the bed. With that, he glares up with clear blue eyes at the Estonian, and Eduard takes this chance to look away finally.

"I didn't even have an army. If anything, you could have been the one to prevent this."

It's calm words for someone who's clutching his bag of belongings even tighter than before, but he steps forward and kneels beside the bed. He glances up at his brother only when the other decides to pull out a rosary, filled with dark red beads that look like blood and silver strands that connect them to pray with. Instead of responding to the biting sarcasm, he's _praying _instead and the sentiment strikes Eduard hard.

Then Eduard realizes, and he hates himself for not doing so before, but Ivan must have his own ideas and traditions on religion. Berwald had never cared much, and for the past few decades he never even had to think of the fact that there's religions still out there.

"Liivimaa. Do you know what... religion... Ivan is?"

He has the beads wrapped tout around his fingers, his lips pressed into a thin line as he looks down at Eduard.

"Catholic. The _wrong_ kind of Catholic."

So now, on top of everything, he expects things to be different in that aspect. He digs to the bottom of the bag, seeing the flash of red and white before he reached in just to touch it, to feel close to the person who gave it to him again. It's been packed up so small for so long, always in his attempts to keep it hidden, and his throat feels dry and his eyes burn.

"...Eduard." The Estonian doesn't glance up, just holds on briefly to the red flag and thinks about how right Nikolaj had been to chose rose madder, the flag still looked so well after so long. He misses the Dane, misses the brightness that the other always brought to him.

"Eduard.. Come on. Don't look like that. I mean, Raivis will probably join us soon too. He can't do anything on his own."

At that moment he couldn't even care about Raivis, too busy wishing that Nikolaj's coat had never been submitted to so much wear and tear so he could keep him even closer. There's still the ring on his finger at least, and he twists it subconsciously, because all of this feels like a very bad vacation that he doesn't know when he'll get to leave.

* * *

WELL.

not the most pleased with this chapter, but I'm never really pleased when I'm trying to write a romance fic and the chapter can't.. really include both of them. For angst, I think this hits the mark but geez I'd like more romance already... D|

Rambling aside, historical notes |:

I consider Livonia as Estonia and the other Baltic's brother, yeah. even though I keep using the term brother loosely, since as far as blood goes, they're not close.

During the Northern War, although Danish forces were initially told to gtfo (last chapter lol) they rejoined the effort later. Russia took over helping gain Estonia and Livonia, and when Sweden was losing land to Russia, they decided to just try and.. burn.. villages and buildings along the coast where they could get to.

Russia kept the two Baltic states (Livonia and Estonia) very secluded and withdrawn from other nations, and actually had occupied them for a few years before formally gaining control of them in the treaty of Nystad.

Russia changed the name of Estonia (more commonly known to the world as Estland anyways) to being known as the Governorate of Reval. it'd stay that way for quite a while.

St Petersburg was founded in Swedish Ingria as well.

Liivimaa is Estonian for Livonia. and yes, with the whole old crusader mindset, there's a wrong kind of these things. More Russia and more Denmark next timeeee.


End file.
